End of September now, really!

 

So our pool is chilly now. Like 74 or 75 degrees.  The days have been above 80 but at night it gets cold.

Isaac AND Daniel jumped into the pool a few days ago. They are very tough! 

I went in yesterday and just stuck to walking up and down in the shallow end. It was an unpleasant experience for a few minutes, but I got exercise. My upper body was dry so I didn't die from icy water.

It isn't that cold, of course. I am just a wimp.

We published a new book four days ago. It is doing reasonably well but not amazingly well. But reasonably well is good, and I am happy.

I love that Angela is driving now. It makes our lives much less complicated.

We have kids doing interviews and drug screens and this and that. So busy.

The world is still being sad. Yesterday some madman murdered four people in an LDS church in Michigan. Absolutely heartbreaking and horrible.

I am not dwelling on it or deep diving because there were children there and I don't want to know too much.

The Detroit Tigers did manage to crawl into the post season. They had a horrible end of the year. I am genuinely mad at them for blowing their huge lead in the AL Central. They will be playing Cleveland starting tomorrow in a Wild Card series. Cleveland was on a positive tear at the end of the year and beat the Tigers five out of six times in the last couple of weeks of the regular season.

Of course, they are more upset than I am about doing so badly:-).

It doesn't matter that much but I am still annoyed.

I sound annoyed a lot in this post. Sorry about that. Really, things are going fine all in all. Lots is still in the air with regards to jobs and stuff like that. I am frequently giving my uncertainties to God.

He is good.

End of September

 It finally got cooler. Last week was in the mid to high 80s. This week it is in the 70s which feels really good. Also, we got a bunch of rain after weeks of no rain. The green beans are still producing and will probably be happier with cooler weather and more rain, which makes me happy.

I love green beans so much. So yummy!

I did drop my Lexapro some weeks ago, and I am feeling it. I have lost a little weight, which is nice. My anxiety isn't horrible, but it is definitely higher than it was. I THINK it is probably the Lexapro change that is causing higher anxiety.

Or not. I don't like uncertainty and right now there is a great deal. I have three kids job hunting, and it is stressful. When the children were very young, I could solve their problems. I could give them baths and feed them and kiss them and I could give them medicine if they were sick.

Now they are young adults and are venturing out on their own. They are making phone calls and receiving phone calls and making choices about this and that and the other.  Which is SO good. We can be supportive and provide guidance, but they have to make their own choices. It is all good.

But certainly as a parent it isn't easy either!

I have also still been struggling with grief over Charlie Kirk's death. Again, I am aware that worse things have happened in the sense of school shootings in elementary and high schools where there are multiple fatalities.

As I said in the last blog post, I am careful not to delve too deeply into those things because I don't need that additional fear in my life about my own dear children.

Charlie Kirk's death has been the cause of rejoicing by a lot of people, which makes me very sad. Political violence is never the right answer.

Melissa Hortman and her husband, the former a Minnesota Democratic legislator, were murdered by a horrible evil person in June of this year. That is equally tragic to Charlie's murder.

Lots of people we follow on line -- conservatives with whom we agree -- were close friends to Charlie Kirk, and they are mourning.

Also, I don't think anyone with two brain cells and any degree of honor rejoices in the deaths of kids in school, and the murder of the Hortmans.

And yet, there are all these people lying about Kirk and his words and saying it is good he is dead, and saying that they wish his wife was taken out next so their children can be raised by "good" liberals who will raise them to hate their parents. I actually did see someone say that.

It is sickening. The truth is I need to stop looking at stuff like that, of course. And I will. No more. Lots of people are entirely sensible on both sides of the aisle, and most people did come out against the celebration of the assassination.

But it is still sad and frankly outraging to me. I am a scientist by training and know that in order to make good analysis about a person, you need to take their words in context. And they don't. They don't. They take little snippets of Kirk's words and paint him as an evil person.

Not that HE cares. He is in Heaven with Jesus.

So yeah, I need to just let God be God and pray for healing in our land. It is sad, and lots of people we follow are grieving because Charlie Kirk was a close friend. 

And there are people in Minnesota who have a giant hole in their lives because of the death of the Hortmans.

And there was another shooting in Minnesota recently where two kids were murdered by a shooter.

So there is a lot of grief in this world. Part of life is accepting that, and part of it is looking to the future, when every tear will be wiped away in Heaven with our Lord.

Charlie Kirk

 My last blog post was September 10th, and a couple of hours after I wrote it, I learned that Charlie Kirk, a young and very influential conservative, had been shot. A couple of hours later, I learned that he had died.

One of our kids came home from work near tears, and asked me, "Is he going to be all right?"  I said no, he had died, and we clung together and wept.

Now I haven't even followed Charlie Kirk that closely, but I have watched a number of his interactions with college students. He was doing a question and answer/debate thing in Utah at a college when he was assassinated.

I liked him so much, and my kids did to, and even now, days later, I feel a heaviness in my soul about the whole thing.

I have tried to analyze that grief, because other horrible things have happened in the last months and years that didn't cause this level of sorrow on my part. Not long ago, a nut shot up a Catholic church and killed two children and wounded a bunch of others. Two Minnesota lawmakers and their spouses were shot by a crazy person in the not too distant past and one couple died and the others were wounded.

Just a day or two before Kirk's killing, a young Ukrainian woman was murdered on the train by a crazy person.

I think the reason it hits so hard is that I have watched Charlie Kirk on video so I don't know him, but I kind of do know him. I have pictures of the Ukrainian girl murdered, and the kids murdered at the Catholic church, but I didn't hear them speak. I didn't see them move around on screen. I didn't see them full of life.

Also, since I have children, and am prone to anxiety, I deliberately do not do deep dives into news on killings of children because it will freak me out. I do not need to add fuel to fear.

Anyway. Charlie Kirk is dead, leaving behind a young wife and two little kids who will not understand why Daddy is never coming home again.

He was a really good guy, but the sad thing is that many people on the far left have taken his words out of context and twisted them and called him a Nazi which is the dumbest thing ever, along with being evil.

I watched a vignette yesterday when he interacted with a trans female (so born male) and the young person was saying he wasn't too sure about his life and wondered about Charlie's view on it. Charlie was very kind and asked gentle questions and finally said, "I won't tell you what to do with your life, but I think you would be happier if you lived as a male." The person said, thanks, and that was it.

Oh, one thing this person DID say was that he had been put on puberty blockers at age 11. That is SO young to be going on long term drugs...

Anyway, he was a good guy, and yet I keep seeing these posts where people are taking little snippets out of context to paint him as evil.

I also am heartbroken for the murderer. Assuming they got the right guy, he is very young, like early 20's, and he has taken a life, and is gonna go to jail or be executed. That is so sad. And his parents! It seems his father figured out what his son had done and told other people and his son was arrested.

There is a book I read many years ago by Carol Kent called When I Lay My Isaac Down. She and her husband had one child, a son, and their son stalked and murdered his wife's ex husband. Assuming the son is still alive, he is in Florida in prison for the rest of his life.

The thought of having a child who murdered someone else...

The thought of a child who has ruined his life and that of many other people...

So sad. I am praying for the killer and his family. And the Kirks and their family and friends.

One thing that keeps popping up on Facebook is that we should never rejoice in the death of another human being.

I remember that when Osama Bin Laden died, I was glad, because he was an evil terrorist. But even then, I was sad that he never knew Jesus as Lord, and that he had lived such a terrible life. I felt sorry for his children, who had such a violent father. I mean, I don't know if he was a good father to his kids, but he was one of the masterminds behind the September 11th attacks on the USA. So it was a war, and Osama Bin Laden was a leader, and I think it was definitely a righteous attack that took his life.

There is a difference between a single person assassinating someone they disagree with, and a country taking steps against the leader of an enemy organization.

Anyway, I obviously have lots of roiling thoughts about this. But the basic truth is that the whole thing is terrible and sad.

Driving test and other stuff

 

Our sweet Angela passed her driving test!  Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

Now we have six legal drivers. It is so amazing.

We have so much going on, or at least it seems like it. Angela and Joseph and Isaac are all job hunting. It is not a super easy time to find a job, truthfully. We are praying for God's guidance and direction. The government has a hiring freeze and that means most contractors are affected too. Angela is working at Wendys for now and the big boys may have to take some kind of job like that while they look for a permanent position. We will see!

Joseph was laid off along with five other people in his IT group. The group went from ten to 4 people!  Miriam was not laid off and is probably going to be way busier now for obvious reasons.

Yeah, just seems like a lot is going on. I was a little sick the last few days. I think it was a cold. My breathing was a little wonky but not bad which is the biggest thing I worried about. So yeah, I am mostly fine now.

I have been entertaining myself by watching Caleb Hammer, a financial guru who works with singles and couples about financial stuff. Dave Ramsey is a Christian financial guy who does similar things. Dave is calm and gentle, though sometimes stern. Caleb has many of the same ideas as Dave Ramsey, but he is way more dramatic. He yells a lot, and swears a lot (though that is bleeped out) and carries on in a most entertaining way. Also, his guests are always train wrecks financially. 

It is a little like slowing down to stare at a car crash, but I also find it interesting because I was BORN a saver and just don't understand people who get into a tons of debt through dumb stuff like eating out every day or worse yet, Door Dashing every day of the week while debts are piling up. I just don't get the mentality. And yet, I have nine children, all of whom are different than me, so understanding how different people look at money is fascinating and maybe useful?

I think a common theme is the desire for instant gratification.

Also, sometimes there are parents enabling the guest. Like one situation was a couple living with the husband's parents, and they were in tons of debt, and not paying rent all the time, and yet the wife (who worked from home) was Door dashing doughnuts from Dunkin' Donut five days a week. Like WHAT!

There was a lot of yelling in that episode, but I am inclined to blame the parents of the husband, because they shouldn't be putting up with that. Oh, and the husband also randomly bought an $1800 necklace one month instead of paying rent to his parents. 

Just unbelievable. But then again, as a mom of kids whom I love, I do get it. But I wouldn't put up with that if it happened (it has not) because it is so bad for EVERYONE involved. Caleb kept saying "you two are like CHILDREN" which is true.

I think that is about it. It is warmer this week than last. Pool is still a decent temperature. I plan to swim this afternoon.

September!

And it feels like it!

We had such a hot, hot summer, and then a few weeks ago, it suddenly got substantially cooler. So it does feel like fall now. Our pool is desperately hanging onto its heat thanks to sunny days and solar cover, but it won't be long before Wimpy Mommy (that is me) refuses to swim anymore.

Rose likes to dress up in blankets. Kevin says, and the kids agree, that we can never, ever have too many blankets.

We went to Pearl's Fen, a boardwalk, with my parents this weekend. It is charming and it was lovely with so many beautiful wildflowers.

My mom and me and the three younger kids. Older kids were sleeping because they had the day off for Labor Day and sleep is nice.

My father and Rose drank tea together.

I did an at home A1c test and it said 5.7. Can that be right? That is VERY good compared to my last check.

What has changed? I have been taking my meds at a different time, and I have been swimming a lot.  Or maybe the test was off. Anyway, I will take it.

So now it really feels like fall, both temperature wise and with school and all that. The three younger kids are doing school and everyone else is a young adult either working or currently job hunting. 

I find being the parent of a young adult to be hard because of course so much is outside of my control. Which is reasonable and right, but unlike when the kids were very small, I can't just swoop in and fix any problems they are having. 

But God loves them even more than Kevin and I love them, and I need to trust in that.