Mid November

 

We had a little snowstorm! It was a record for November 10th in some local places. I think we got at least 3 inches.

Rose and Daniel were super excited. They spent a lot of happy time playing in the snow.

Do you see the pale sun shining through the clouds in the picture above? Cool!

Yesterday was Kevin's birthday. He and I only barely stepped outside yesterday. It was a great day to be inside, enjoying the warmth. Lydia came over for dinner so we had 8 kids celebrating.

Lydia and Naomi have several cats, and one of them has been losing weight. Turns out he is diabetic! So now they are having to give him insulin shots twice a day. He is already feeling much better.

Let's see... OH! Joseph got an IT job!  It starts next Monday. So that is a huge answer to prayer.

Isaac is still working a temp job but he does have an engineering interview today. So we will see.

We launched a book a week ago and so far it has been kind of a dud. I don't think it is the fault of the book. Amazon got messed up which affected the launch.

Two things happened. First, we have a big group of people who like my books, and they are supposed to be told when one of our books is on pre order, and when one of our books has launched. By Amazon, I mean. As far as we know, neither email got sent out.

Also, the reviews got totally stuck. A week from launch, we have only three reviews. Other books are having the same problem. Amazon is HUGE and sometimes things go wrong. By this time, I expect there have been at least 100 reviews to the book, most of them so called "star" reviews, where at the end of the book, people have the option of just telling how many stars there are. The written reviews are always far rarer.  But by now there should be quite a few and at the moment we have three and the first one showed up only yesterday.

All of this is annoying but reality. We work with Amazon, which is gigantic, and there are algorithms and computer stuff and when it goes wrong, the author "suffers".

But we also are blessed by Amazon, because, hey, most of our money comes from Kindle Unlimited page reads! So I am working to just take the good with the bad and be calm.

I haven't written anything in several days (creatively, I mean -- a book, I mean) and my brain has been bouncing all over thinking about stuff.

I am going through a Chernobyl phase. There was a huge nuclear accident in 1986 and I am watching a documentary series and reading about it again because it is fascinating.

I FINALLY figured out one scientific detail which has been confusing me for ages. So that is nice.

I have also been making parallels in my head between our situation with Amazon and SNAP recipient with the governement. The shut down caused a lot of fear and anguish and we decided to donate a decent sum to a local food pantry to help out.

I assume SNAP will get sorted out now, which is a relief for those who are struggling with food insecurity and hunger.

There are so many families struggling who need SNAP. There are also a bunch of people being kind of stupid about the whole thing.

I have seen online videos, which seem to be authentic, where people with SNAP are buying tons of expensive stuff -- expensive meats, and lots of pricy frozen meals. Here's the thing ... if you are on SNAP, and cannot pay for your own groceries, you SHOULD use SNAP very very very carefully. If I were in that position, I would buy a bunch of long lasting things (like rice or canned items) so IF the government had a problem and SNAP stopped, I would have food stored in the pantry.

Now some people literally don't have stoves, I get that. So their situation is different from those who do have kitchens and stoves and still decide to buy pricy pops and expensive name brand chips and that kind of thing.

My mentality is very different, maybe especially because I have kids. If I was so poor I couldn't pay for my own food, I would be trying to stockpile and lots of people don't.

Lots of people probably do stockpile, too.

Maybe there are a just a few people with terrible habits, but I would guess that isn't true.

When the government comes through faithfully every month, it is easy to take it for granted. And then, when we have a 40+ days shutdown and SNAP is delayed, a lot of people freak. Some people are literally on the cliff of poverty so I do understand that it is really hard. But some people are definitely being stupid about how they have been using their "free money" for groceries.

We are used to having Amazon be helpful, and this time it has been causing problems with not doing what it should be doing. BUT, we have savings so we can weather having lower income than expected.

November

 It seems like a lot is going on.

Kevin and the kids closed the pool a few days ago.  It has been really chilly so definitely time!

A new book launched today. I hope it does well.

I finished a Christmas book a few days ago -- well, the first draft anyway. I have been writing a lot and my brain is a little fried so I am taking a break from writing in favor of tidying and decluttering the house.

That actually is very satisfyingg. Yesterday I went through a pile of old glasses we had. Seven of our nine children have glasses, and we purchase a new pair every year. I save the old ones, of course, in case the current pair has an issue and we need a back up.

That has happened so many times, by the way, that we needed a backup.

However, when I pulled my whole store out, and checked them out with the kids, I discovered less than half were of any use at all. The kids were too big, or their eyes had changed so much that the glasses were no longer useful. So I put all the spares in a bag and will drop them off at the library, where they have a box for old frames for people who need them. It is through the Lions Club I think.

So that was nice.

I also am going through spare shoes and once again finding a bunch that are too small for the kids, or no one wants them.

I love getting rid of things. I love it... so much.

So yeah, good week. Busy.

Late October

 

Rose is still small and cute. She made this wonderful magnet house.

This is from a week ago or so. Isaac got in the water like a crazy person. It was 66 at the time. BRRRR.

So we have bees living in our house. Joy. They have made a nest between a stone and the window frame. Kevin has been shooting poison foam at them, but what really is working is sucking them up with a Shop Vac. Great care will be taken not to open the Shop Vac any time soon.

What else is going on?

Well, a lot. A LOT.

Let's talk about jobs!  Isaac got a temp. job. It is not an engineering job, and he is still hunting for one, but he is working full time working on metal sheeting. It pays decently well. Not as well as an engineering position of course, but he wants money!

Joseph battled beauracracy and is getting unemployment while also job hunting.

Angela has been wearing herself out! She is also searching for an IT job but those jobs are hard to find and she has no experience, so she also went out and got a job to make money. She is in training at the same place Lydia works now. Lydia is a concierge and Angela is going to work as a server at the restaurant and also a dishwasher and table clearer.

It means kids are coming and going a lot. The house is quieter for sure with only four kids home most days.

Last week I finished my latest book. It is launching in early November. Also, Kevin has a bunch of work to do on it.

Also, I am 17,000 words into a Christmas novella. That needs to be done in a few weeks. Yes, I am writing a lot these days!

It is getting cooler. I like that given that I am post menopausal!

October

Sweet potato noodles! They look almost transparent when cooked. They are almost tasteless but they look gorgeous and I like to eat them with spaghetti sauce. Wheat is not good for my body. Or my body is not good for wheat. Anyway. Normal noodles don't cut it so I am happy about sweet potato noodles.

Kevin has been working on this table for literally years! He finally finished it. It is now a gaming table in our study.

Isaac found a snake! I think it is a milk snake. I think he or she is gorgeous.

Daniel and Miriam have played some chess. Miriam is far better as she is substantially older so I admire Daniel for taking her on.

We found a giant puff mushroom. It is safe to eat and Kevin cooked it up. I took one bite and oh it was awful.  Ugh. Not sure why. I was nervous. Probably eating mushrooms from one's yard is not entirely wise. But this was a monster puff mushroom and they are Ok to eat in terms of not being poisonous. This baby did NOT taste good.

I took the younger three to Wendys and they had Frosties and fries. Eating out is a special occasion for us so they really enjoyed themselves!

 

End of September now, really!

 

So our pool is chilly now. Like 74 or 75 degrees.  The days have been above 80 but at night it gets cold.

Isaac AND Daniel jumped into the pool a few days ago. They are very tough! 

I went in yesterday and just stuck to walking up and down in the shallow end. It was an unpleasant experience for a few minutes, but I got exercise. My upper body was dry so I didn't die from icy water.

It isn't that cold, of course. I am just a wimp.

We published a new book four days ago. It is doing reasonably well but not amazingly well. But reasonably well is good, and I am happy.

I love that Angela is driving now. It makes our lives much less complicated.

We have kids doing interviews and drug screens and this and that. So busy.

The world is still being sad. Yesterday some madman murdered four people in an LDS church in Michigan. Absolutely heartbreaking and horrible.

I am not dwelling on it or deep diving because there were children there and I don't want to know too much.

The Detroit Tigers did manage to crawl into the post season. They had a horrible end of the year. I am genuinely mad at them for blowing their huge lead in the AL Central. They will be playing Cleveland starting tomorrow in a Wild Card series. Cleveland was on a positive tear at the end of the year and beat the Tigers five out of six times in the last couple of weeks of the regular season.

Of course, they are more upset than I am about doing so badly:-).

It doesn't matter that much but I am still annoyed.

I sound annoyed a lot in this post. Sorry about that. Really, things are going fine all in all. Lots is still in the air with regards to jobs and stuff like that. I am frequently giving my uncertainties to God.

He is good.

End of September

 It finally got cooler. Last week was in the mid to high 80s. This week it is in the 70s which feels really good. Also, we got a bunch of rain after weeks of no rain. The green beans are still producing and will probably be happier with cooler weather and more rain, which makes me happy.

I love green beans so much. So yummy!

I did drop my Lexapro some weeks ago, and I am feeling it. I have lost a little weight, which is nice. My anxiety isn't horrible, but it is definitely higher than it was. I THINK it is probably the Lexapro change that is causing higher anxiety.

Or not. I don't like uncertainty and right now there is a great deal. I have three kids job hunting, and it is stressful. When the children were very young, I could solve their problems. I could give them baths and feed them and kiss them and I could give them medicine if they were sick.

Now they are young adults and are venturing out on their own. They are making phone calls and receiving phone calls and making choices about this and that and the other.  Which is SO good. We can be supportive and provide guidance, but they have to make their own choices. It is all good.

But certainly as a parent it isn't easy either!

I have also still been struggling with grief over Charlie Kirk's death. Again, I am aware that worse things have happened in the sense of school shootings in elementary and high schools where there are multiple fatalities.

As I said in the last blog post, I am careful not to delve too deeply into those things because I don't need that additional fear in my life about my own dear children.

Charlie Kirk's death has been the cause of rejoicing by a lot of people, which makes me very sad. Political violence is never the right answer.

Melissa Hortman and her husband, the former a Minnesota Democratic legislator, were murdered by a horrible evil person in June of this year. That is equally tragic to Charlie's murder.

Lots of people we follow on line -- conservatives with whom we agree -- were close friends to Charlie Kirk, and they are mourning.

Also, I don't think anyone with two brain cells and any degree of honor rejoices in the deaths of kids in school, and the murder of the Hortmans.

And yet, there are all these people lying about Kirk and his words and saying it is good he is dead, and saying that they wish his wife was taken out next so their children can be raised by "good" liberals who will raise them to hate their parents. I actually did see someone say that.

It is sickening. The truth is I need to stop looking at stuff like that, of course. And I will. No more. Lots of people are entirely sensible on both sides of the aisle, and most people did come out against the celebration of the assassination.

But it is still sad and frankly outraging to me. I am a scientist by training and know that in order to make good analysis about a person, you need to take their words in context. And they don't. They don't. They take little snippets of Kirk's words and paint him as an evil person.

Not that HE cares. He is in Heaven with Jesus.

So yeah, I need to just let God be God and pray for healing in our land. It is sad, and lots of people we follow are grieving because Charlie Kirk was a close friend. 

And there are people in Minnesota who have a giant hole in their lives because of the death of the Hortmans.

And there was another shooting in Minnesota recently where two kids were murdered by a shooter.

So there is a lot of grief in this world. Part of life is accepting that, and part of it is looking to the future, when every tear will be wiped away in Heaven with our Lord.

Charlie Kirk

 My last blog post was September 10th, and a couple of hours after I wrote it, I learned that Charlie Kirk, a young and very influential conservative, had been shot. A couple of hours later, I learned that he had died.

One of our kids came home from work near tears, and asked me, "Is he going to be all right?"  I said no, he had died, and we clung together and wept.

Now I haven't even followed Charlie Kirk that closely, but I have watched a number of his interactions with college students. He was doing a question and answer/debate thing in Utah at a college when he was assassinated.

I liked him so much, and my kids did to, and even now, days later, I feel a heaviness in my soul about the whole thing.

I have tried to analyze that grief, because other horrible things have happened in the last months and years that didn't cause this level of sorrow on my part. Not long ago, a nut shot up a Catholic church and killed two children and wounded a bunch of others. Two Minnesota lawmakers and their spouses were shot by a crazy person in the not too distant past and one couple died and the others were wounded.

Just a day or two before Kirk's killing, a young Ukrainian woman was murdered on the train by a crazy person.

I think the reason it hits so hard is that I have watched Charlie Kirk on video so I don't know him, but I kind of do know him. I have pictures of the Ukrainian girl murdered, and the kids murdered at the Catholic church, but I didn't hear them speak. I didn't see them move around on screen. I didn't see them full of life.

Also, since I have children, and am prone to anxiety, I deliberately do not do deep dives into news on killings of children because it will freak me out. I do not need to add fuel to fear.

Anyway. Charlie Kirk is dead, leaving behind a young wife and two little kids who will not understand why Daddy is never coming home again.

He was a really good guy, but the sad thing is that many people on the far left have taken his words out of context and twisted them and called him a Nazi which is the dumbest thing ever, along with being evil.

I watched a vignette yesterday when he interacted with a trans female (so born male) and the young person was saying he wasn't too sure about his life and wondered about Charlie's view on it. Charlie was very kind and asked gentle questions and finally said, "I won't tell you what to do with your life, but I think you would be happier if you lived as a male." The person said, thanks, and that was it.

Oh, one thing this person DID say was that he had been put on puberty blockers at age 11. That is SO young to be going on long term drugs...

Anyway, he was a good guy, and yet I keep seeing these posts where people are taking little snippets out of context to paint him as evil.

I also am heartbroken for the murderer. Assuming they got the right guy, he is very young, like early 20's, and he has taken a life, and is gonna go to jail or be executed. That is so sad. And his parents! It seems his father figured out what his son had done and told other people and his son was arrested.

There is a book I read many years ago by Carol Kent called When I Lay My Isaac Down. She and her husband had one child, a son, and their son stalked and murdered his wife's ex husband. Assuming the son is still alive, he is in Florida in prison for the rest of his life.

The thought of having a child who murdered someone else...

The thought of a child who has ruined his life and that of many other people...

So sad. I am praying for the killer and his family. And the Kirks and their family and friends.

One thing that keeps popping up on Facebook is that we should never rejoice in the death of another human being.

I remember that when Osama Bin Laden died, I was glad, because he was an evil terrorist. But even then, I was sad that he never knew Jesus as Lord, and that he had lived such a terrible life. I felt sorry for his children, who had such a violent father. I mean, I don't know if he was a good father to his kids, but he was one of the masterminds behind the September 11th attacks on the USA. So it was a war, and Osama Bin Laden was a leader, and I think it was definitely a righteous attack that took his life.

There is a difference between a single person assassinating someone they disagree with, and a country taking steps against the leader of an enemy organization.

Anyway, I obviously have lots of roiling thoughts about this. But the basic truth is that the whole thing is terrible and sad.