Monday, September 30, 2019

Oculus Quest

The Oculus Quest is a virtual reality headset.

Kevin bought one a few days ago.  Now I was totally cool with that.  It is expensive but well within our financial reach.  Kevin and the kids love games.  I was like, that's fine.

The big surprise is how much I LOVE IT!!  Wow, the Quest is amazing!  Unlike previous versions of Oculus headsets, the Quest doesn't have any wires to it.  So Kevin has set up "safe spaces" in a few rooms (obviously after cleaning up the room so there is nothing  to trip over) and we can play ping pong and boxing (which I didn't like -- I don't like some mean tough guy punching me in the face even if he actually doesn't touch me.)

Here's my favorite thing so far though -- roller coasters.  It is like being on a real roller coaster in many ways.  It feels like it, but without the jolts and bumps that can hurt my aged back.

So yes, so much fun.

Tuesday, September 24, 2019

Confessions of a (Reforming) Workaholic

Unless one is a genius, one does not get a Ph.D. in engineering without working really hard.

I am not a genius, so yes, I worked hard.  In graduate school.  In undergraduate.  In high school.  In our home, having multiple children.

Working hard and getting stuff done makes me feel accomplished and worthwhile. I have spent years and years working on realizing that my value is based on WHO I AM, not WHAT I DO.

I've had seasons where I was laid up.  The last was a year ago post emergency hysterectomy.  I sat around for weeks recovering from major surgery. I really didn't struggle too much with self image at that point because yes, I had been cut open and an organ removed and there were minor complications so it made sense I would be weak and unable to do much.

Well, I'm sick with this stupid little illness, and last night I had dream after dream after dream of trying to get my kids to the airport for a nebulous flight whose departure time I did not know.  In the dream, things kept going wrong.  Alarm clocks didn't go off, I couldn't find shoes, I had one kid run away from me and get on a random bus.

There is a correlation. When I feel frustrated because of sickness, I feel out of control.  When I feel out of control, I have dreams like this one.

So, deep breaths, deep breaths.

I have minor asthma which flares ONLY during illnesses.  My minor asthma has flared up the last few days. I know that trying to power through asthma just makes it worse.  (I have very unpleasant memories of the Kendig swine flu epidemic of 2009, when asthma kept me confined to bed for almost 3 full weeks.)

So I need to rest.  But is super frustrating because I've got stuff to do.  But if I push too hard, I will not recover as well and might indeed get worse.

So yeah.

Working hard is a good thing.  Being chronically lazy is not healthy. BUT being a workaholic isn't good either.

Psalm 127:1-2

1Unless the Lord builds the house,
the builders labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
the guards stand watch in vain.
2In vain you rise early
and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat—
for he grants sleep to a those he loves.

If my kids were going to starve or suffer from me resting, I would have to push through. But reality is that they are just watching more screens while I recover. And that is Ok. That is better than Ok.  That is good, for me to rest when I need to.

Sunday, September 22, 2019

Still Hot, Still (Kind of) Hard

The illness keeps making its slow way through the family.  I have said it so many times -- if we'd all get sick at once it would be a nightmare, but a short nightmare!  It says something about our immune systems that people get these sicknesses slowly, over the course of a few weeks.

Something good, maybe?

Joseph had it this week and was sick ONE day, which is great.  I have it now.  I've been pushing through it for a few days, getting a bit more rest when I can but also extra busy because I'm helping little sickies.

Three youngest kiddos got it at the end of the week. Sarah lost her voice for a couple of days.  Rose has coughed a lot, and last night threw up copiously in her bed from coughing, poor sweet. (And poor me -- I cleaned it up!)

But I keep trying to have a good attitude about it.  It isn't anything really, really, really serious.  It isn't polio, or smallpox, or even the flu. It isn't strep throat (we checked for that.)  It is just a stupid virus.

This is a totally little thing, but I was wanting to watch some college football and we don't have ESPN and I had the vague idea that most games were on ESPN.  Nope, lots are on regular TV and we can record them. So that's fun. I don't even understand football all that well (not the subtleties) but I do enjoy watching football on TV.  It's so mellow watching big men crash into each other.

I will never encourage any of my children to play football.  Micro concussions.

So that's it. Sickness.  Couching.  Fatigue.  But we're fine.

Oh, it is still very hot for September and we have been able to swim in 82 degree water, which is awesome.

God is good all the time.

Sunday, September 15, 2019

Hot September, Hard Week

First, some pics


Kevin changed the oil in one of the cars with Daniel's enthusiastic assistance.


I bought slime. The kids love slime.


I bought generic Wiki Sticks. The kids love Wiki Sticks




Blue eyed girl


Naomi in her work shirt.

After a cool couple of weeks it got hot hot hot!  Like mid 80's to low 90's this week!  We spent a lot of time in the pool, which was delightful.

So it was a hard week.  I don't even really know why except that I'm just tired mentally and somewhat physically.  We have an illness going around, and that was part of it. Poor Angela lost her voice for 2 and a half days!  Like it was gone. She also had a horrible sore throat.  Several other kids also had bad throats, though not AS bad. I took Angela to the doctor and it wasn't strep throat so that is good.

So yeah, I'm just tired.  The last few days I gave myself time to write several chapters of a Star Wars fanfiction that leaped into my mind.  I really enjoy writing.  It's soothing and fun.  Sometimes I feel guilty about taking the time but I think the mental health aspect is important.

And...people are yelling.  Bye!

Monday, September 2, 2019

Raising Children is Hard Work

I was right, last week was tough.  Several medical appointments and lots of running around, which meant that when I was home I was trying to catch up with housework and school and all that jazz.

My thyroid ultrasound was encouraging. I do have a couple of nodules but apparently they aren't big enough to worry about.

I took Joseph in for his well teen appointment on Tuesday morning. The doctor hemmed and hawed over his spine and finally said he thought an x-ray was in order. The result is that he has mild scoliosis, a 13 degree curve.  They don't do anything, apparently, before 15 degrees.  If Joseph is nearly done growing probably he is Ok.  Is he?  We don't know. He is 5 ft. 10 inches and has leaped 3 or 4 inches in height in the last year, so maybe?  He will be retested in 6 months but if he grows like crazy in the next few months I will ask them to check him in 3 months or so.

Naomi has been working for 3 or 4 weeks at the local Goodwill.  It is a new store with insufficient employees so she has been working a lot of hours.

Lydia started her second year of community college.  So far it has been fairly mellow but it is merely the calm before the storm. She has a practicum where she works at a child care center but the powers that be are still getting it organized. Once that starts, she'll be gone a lot from home.

The younger kids are doing homeschooling as well.

This week I felt exhausted mentally.  It is really not easy for me to parent 9 kids easily.  Truly, parenting is challenging.  For some it is easier than others.  I know I'm an intellectual and tend toward anxiety (though Lexapro helps) and while I'm a good mom, I'm not sure it comes naturally.  I THINK a lot.

Of course, 9 children constitutes a large family. But I don't care if someone has one child or 3 or 9 or 15.  Children are hard work. 

I think there is a cultural expectation that adults should be able to parent well AND...

And have a high powered successful job.

And serve the church.

And serve the disadvantaged.

And enjoy many hobbies.

And write the next great novel.

And so on. 

I'm sure some people can do all these things. But some people, like me, need most of their energy and time to be a good spouse and parent.  I truly don't have much left at the end of the day.

Our kids will grow older and they will spread their wings and fly and there will be a less vigorous season in our future.

But right now, raising children is hard work.

(I should add, glorious, wonderful, God given work. I love it.  I just refuse to be ashamed that it takes most of me to do it well.)




Random Pictures of our family (and a small cow)


Cute Daniel


Mama Shark, doo doo doo do do do doo


Nice box with an Angela


Nice flowers with a Rose


Young's Dairy 


Small cow at Young's Dairy


Rose is cute.  I love her.