Sickness

 I am sick, which is annoying. I don't like being sick.  At all.

It is mild.  It is just bad headache off and on and fatigue and some digestive issues.  No vomiting, thankfully. I hate throwing up.

I am battling frustration because I have STUFF TO DO!  I have older kids who can help keep the house running and Kevin is home as well, BUT his work is particularly busy right now so he is holed up in the study most of the day.

I read a book this week called Diabetes by Marriage, written by a woman who married a Type 1 diabetic back in the 1960's.

First, Type 1 is far worse than Type 2.  Even more important than that, we know so much more about how to treat diabetes and with insulin pumps and easy testing, so it is way easier to manage highs and lows in blood sugar.  Now diabetes is still very serious and awful, especially Type 1, but medical technology has improved so much in the last forty years.  

Anyway, the author's husband lost both legs in his 50's to diabetic complications, and died before age 60.  She spent years managing his growing health problems. He also had major lows many times where his personality changed a lot. Once he almost attacked her during a low.

So while I am a bit whiny over being a little sick, I shouldn't be.  I will get over this in a few days.  My own diabetes is well controlled, praise God!  When I was diagnosed at age 35 with Type 2, my mother sent me Dr. Bernstein's Diabetes book and it was incredibly helpful.  I am not as strict with my diet as he suggests, but I do eat low carb and have managed to keep my A1c's at a decent level for 16 years now.  (A1c is a measure of average blood sugar.) I have also never had a bad low because I am not on insulin or a pancreas stimulating drug.

So yeah, I'm good.  And I'm tired. Is it too early for a nap?

 

Life and Death

 

Pretty rainbow from a week ago.

We have been attending a particular church for a couple of years now, though we had at least six months off due to COVID-19 last year.  I think it was more, actually. The children's ministries just started up a few weeks ago, so we weren't all going for more than a year.

Yesterday I took the seven kids to church and Kevin stayed home.  Unfortunately, we don't all fit in our minivan so we have to drive two vehicles if we all want to go.

We walked into the foyer and I said hi to a kind and charming older gentleman who has been coming faithfully to church since we started attending, in spite of his very poor health.  We have always sat in one of the back rows because it is easier to take out noisy children that way, and ever since COVID began, he sat in a chair behind "our" row. So every week we were all around, we would chat briefly.

Part way through the service, a friend who is a medical professional rushed out of the sanctuary with another man, and I noticed that our elderly friend was gone.  When I went to use the bathroom, an ambulance was at the front door so I realized he had had some kind of health crisis.

At the end of the service, the pastor's wife came forward and whispered into the pastor's ear and the pastor, through tears, announced that the elderly man had died during the service.

So wow.  That's a first time for me!  Someone actually died in the building while I was attending church!

On one hand, it is very sad. There were a lot of grieving, weepy people after the service. On the other hand, I am pretty excited for the gentleman; his wife died a couple of years ago and I know he felt rotten much of the time.  He is with the Lord Jesus right now and free of the pains and aches of his earthly body.

It is weird how life just kind of goes on, because it has to, and then someone DIES and I am reminded that death will come to us all.

I am not a history expert, but it is fascinating to me that through much of history, rulers and kings and emperors and dictators and authorities have tried to force their subjects to embrace a particular religion.  Frankly, that seems nuts, especially the aforementioned leaders who were nominally Christians. I mean, as a Christian, I believe that God is all powerful. He is entirely capable of forcing people to trust and believe in Him. He hasn't.  He gives us free will. So trying to FORCE someone to be a Christian is demented and stupid and evil.  I actually think a lot of early "Christian" leaders weren't saved at all.  Religion was partially a way to control people and/or people were genuinely confused.  Lots of people in the Middle Ages had no clue what the Bible actually said, after all.  

Having said that, we are in an interesting place and time in history where in the United States, it is considered incredibly non politically correct to say that Christianity is "right" and other religions are "wrong.".  Most people think if you are a good person, you will go to Heaven if there is a Heaven.

That is totally NOT what Christianity teaches.  The Christian message is that every person on this earth is tainted by sin, and Jesus Christ, God Incarnate, came and lived and preached and died on a cross as a sacrifice for our sins. There is no one good enough to go to Heaven on their own merits, and no one so bad they cannot be forgiven.  

This is a pretty unpopular belief system!  So Muslims and Buddhists and Hindus are all lost?  Is that what Christians are saying?

Yes, that is what evangelical Christians are saying.

Frankly, I don't even like it very much.  I wish there was a way that "all roads led to Heaven" though logically that doesn't work.  Hitler was very sincere about his belief that murdering all the Jews was a good thing but do I want that sincerity to mean he is in Heaven enjoying eternity?

No, I don't.  Nor do I want the 9/11 hijackers enjoying their version of eternity. They were very sincere in their beliefs too, obviously, since they died in the process of hijacking planes and flying them into buildings.

Basically, I have realized that I am incredibly small and God is incredibly big and HE GETS TO DECIDE how life and death and eternity work out. The Bible is pretty clear -- all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by Jesus's death on the cross, IF they accept that sacrifice and make him Lord and Savior of their lives. 

Of course, I have many friends and acquaintances and family who do not believe the Bible is true.  God gives them the freedom to decide whether they believe that it is true or not.  Sadly, I do believe they will be separated from God for eternity if they die without faith in Christ.  I don't like that at all but again, I have to lean on the death of Christ for my sins (which shows God loves us a lot, because crucifixion is a horrid way to die) and that I'm not that smart.

So farewell, dear fellow brother in Christ, who is now with the Lord in Heaven above.

I will go around my days and my nights mostly normally because I have to; I mean, I've got stuff to do!  But it is a good reminder to me that you never know what will happen on any given day, and that I need to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus.

July 24th

 Isaac passed his driving test!  YEE HAW!

I am very proud of him.  He learned exclusively from Kevin and me because of COVID -- there weren't easy ways for him to get a few hours in with a certified instructor. Since he is over 18, he didn't NEED the time with a certified instructor, but probably the test would have been easier if he'd worked with someone like that. He is a careful driver and so are Kevin and I, but there are rules with testing that aren't obvious.  I mean, he got some points off for "taking turns too fast". In my view, he takes turns at just the right speed. So that kind of thing.

Here he is, the newly minted driver in the flesh.

The new book, The Golden Daffodil, is doing well on Amazon.  It is currently sitting at 4.6 stars out of 5, which is very very good. It is almost impossible to stay any higher than that because there are always trolls out there.  Part of being an author is being able to shrug off negative reviews.  I got a one star review this week which went on and on about how terrible the book was, and then ended with, "Overall, a simple and somewhat annoying read. Would not reread."

So a 1 star review usually means that this is one of the worst books on the planet, not "somewhat annoying" but of course the reviewer is free to say what he or she thinks. It is still frustrating because one star reviews pull down the overall ratings a lot.  But I am not really bothered because I am an experienced author.  It has to be hard for first time authors when they get reviews like that.

Most reviewers are very generous, actually.  Anything below a 4 star average on reviews usually means a really lousy book OR it is on some terribly controversial topic and a lot of people hate the subject matter.

Anyway.  We are happy the book is doing well.

I was thinking through homeschooling this week and how I always get stressed this time of year.  Since Isaac is 18 and going to college full time, I "only" have six kids I am legally homeschooling this year.

Only Six!  Ha ha ha ha ha!

I have been doing this for 16+ years now so I am very experienced. Having said that, it is hard work and stressful. Most homeschool moms find teaching their children a challenging prospect because it is a huge responsibility and we love our children to the moon and back, and don't want to fail them.

So of course the OBVIOUS question is, why homeschool at all?  There are fine public schools within easy bussing distance in most places.

The answer for us is a mixture of the divine and the practical. First, we believe God told us to homeschool, so we are.

Second, Kevin and I both more or less loathed our time in public school and don't want our kids stepping foot across the doors school building. That sounds dramatic. It is probably overly dramatic.  But honestly, when I think about school, when I even have to walk INTO a school, I usually feel sad.  I obviously didn't have a good time.  It wasn't all bad, but it ranged between mildly positive to very negative.  Probably my memories are skewed toward the negative.  I don't want to base my life off of bad memories, of course, but I can come up with plenty of reasons why public school isn't a good fit for our family so yeah, unless the Angel Gabriel visits me in a dream and tells me the children belong in ps, they will be home.

Kevin and I are both probably "gifted" in the technical sense, in the math and science arena, anyway.  We both have Ph.Ds in engineering, after all.  I read a book saying that gifted kids often struggle in school a lot because they get bored easily. I did. I was bored a lot, and so was Kevin. I am not blaming the teachers, who had to teach to the middle of the class -- of course they did!  But we would grasp a science or math concept immediately and then sit through hours of the teacher explaining it to the other students.  It sounds like a mild problem to be bored but it isn't.  It wasn't.  Hours and hours, days and days, weeks and weeks of sitting around with nothing of interest in the classroom.  I did enjoy my last couple of years in high school more because I was able to take higher level math and science courses and those were interesting.

I also loved books and reading and most of my classmates weren't interested.  Again, that's on me being weird, not on them, but I usually felt like a fish out of water and definitely not part of the crowd, and when you are a teenager, you want to belong.

I am confident this year will go well because every year has gone well. Our older kids have thrived in college in spite of Mom having numerous babies and surgeries and the like.  I am awed at how they have pursued their passions -- the girls are artists, Joseph is building mods online and getting paid (don't ask me to explain because I don't get it) and Isaac is trucking through Calculus 2 on his own.

It is a hard road to take in some ways, but a blessed one.  I am so thankful we live in a place and time when I can homeschool my children.  Of course, other families make different choices and that is TOTALLY reasonable. I LOVE that people have options.  Homeschooling definitely isn't a good fit for some families, and obviously public school isn't a fit for our family.  

Middle of July

 Groan, the summer is flying by on me!  It always does! How can it be the middle of July already??

I usually start school up at the beginning of August, and we spend that first month easing into a full schedule.  Joseph, who struggles with math, has been doing math all summer.  I have also been working with Rose on reading. She is 7 and doesn't read well at all yet.  If she was my first child, I would be freaking out, but she is my 9th and thus I am experienced enough to know she is fine.  Rose is extremely active and not inclined to sit for a long time, plus she is #9 and Mom is busy.  She is making steady progress, but she isn't fluent.

Isaac has been toiling away on Calculus 2 for several weeks, and Joseph is taking a one credit class at Clark State.  Neither has been bored this summer :-).

Actually, there isn't much boredom going on around here. With so built in playmates, people can usually find someone to hang out with and play board games or chat or swim.

Kevin found this stag beetle and captured it and took pictures of it before letting it go.

Miriam found a giant dandelion!

Rose is proud that she was climbing trees and asked me to take pictures. I hung out on the porch and encouraged her not to fall off, but I am pretty mellow about kids climbing trees.  I sometimes joke that they shouldn't break their arms because that would mean an ER trip and that is annoying, but I want them to run around and stay active.  I don't let them climb on the house though, as it is 30 feet high at its peak, with far fewer handholds!

Kevin and I published my latest book this week.  It is called The Golden Daffodil and is about a secret society of (mostly) women running around England doing good.  It is another Pride and Prejudice variation; all of my books have been.  Now I capable of writing something outside P and P and maybe I will, but so far people have loved my books and it is easier writing about established characters and locales.  I still am very busy with the kids, and they are my priority.

Isaac is taking his driving test this coming week and we are praying he passes.  He has two classes on site at Wright State this fall and I really don't want to have to drive him there. On the other hand, I am nervous about turning him loose because I always am.  Now that our older girls have been driving for years, I am much calmer.  Experience is helpful.  Isaac is pretty good; he is not reckless, which is great.

I keep praying for wisdom from God about how I spend my time. I am blessed to have time to spend; there are plenty of people on this planet who are toiling away for daily food.  Since it is a gift to have "free time", I want to be responsible with it.  I have fun, don't get me wrong, but I also want to balance my own hobbies and mindless TV watching with God's plan for me.  

The writing career has been a definite surprise.  My books are quite successful and now a significant money maker.  Kevin makes a lot as an engineer, which is a huge blessing because ... nine kids!  I joke that if he made far less, it would be easier for him to retire. As it is, it doesn't make sense for him to retire yet, especially because our health insurance is superb.  It is hard sometimes to decide how much time I spend writing; obviously, the faster I write, the faster I finish books and the faster I can publish.  BUT of course the family is more important than money.  So yes, it is a balance.

Having said all that, it is Saturday morning, which is special in our house because kids are allowed to play computer games until 10 a.m., and I am going to write!  

Musings on Andy Weir

 This is going to be kind of rambling, I suspect.

Andy Weir is a now very famous author who has published three books: the Martian, Artemis, and Project Hail Mary. 

He was a software engineer and total science nerd who wrote The Martian for fun and posted it free on his personal website.  He had written many other things before that, but The Martian was the most popular.   A bunch of people loved it (which is reasonable -- it is AWESOME) and asked him to put it into Kindle format. He did, priced it at 99 cents, and threw it up on Amazon.  It was enormously successful and a publishing house came calling and published it and it was a hit.  Then a movie was made from the book, which is also really good.

So I adore The Martian except for one thing, which is there is a lot of profanity. I don't like profanity. But it is such a wonderful book that I have read it several times and just skip over the profanity.  The basic idea is that an astronaut gets stranded on a Martian base in the near future and has to figure out how to survive while people on Earth struggle to rescue him.  The protagonist is funny and witty and so even though he faces life and death situations frequently, it isn't too heavy.

Weir wrote Artemis next and I read like one or two chapters and gave up because I really didn't like the main character.

THEN came Project Hail Mary, which was released in May.  Since it was destined to be a best seller, the Kindle version sells for $14.99.  I just can't handle that. I can't.  Wow.  Too much money for a book which I might have hated. Yes, I am cheap.  So I got in the queue to borrow it from the library and weeks later, I got it.  I read it this week. AND I LOVE IT.  It is so much fun, as much fun as the Martian but with way less profanity. The main character is a junior high science teacher turned astronaut who has to save the world, and Weir decided to make the guy less profane.  Which I appreciate a lot.

Anyhoo, I don't want to spoil the plot but will say that alien life forms are a big part of it.  The Martian is science fiction as is Project Hail Mary, but the latter is more "out there". We have sent probes to Mars, after all and know a lot about Mars; we have never sent a probe to a planet orbiting another star, so Weir had to be more inventive.  It is great fun and he worked on the science a lot.  Main character is very appealing.

One thing that pops up over and over is the concept of evolution. Of course. Because most scientists and science nerds believe in macro evolution.  By that, I mean that they believe life started somehow and evolved through millions and billions of years to get where we are now with people and many other animals and insects and reptiles and fish and hundreds of thousands of different kinds of plants.

I do not believe in macroevolution.  Now, smarter people than me do believe in macroevolution, and smarter people than me don't believe in it. I think it is not so much an intelligence issue as a world view issue.

I understand people believing in evolution. Most have been taught it is true in school, after all. But it does annoy me (a lot!) is that many scientists start with the following belief.

1.  There is no God, and therefore everything we see must be caused by natural processes.

No, just no.  Just no no no no no!  You don't START with an assumption that has not been investigated scientifically! In my view, there is every reason under the sun to believe in a Creator God because our world is too complex, our animals are too complex, our plants are too complex, WE are too complex to come about by chance! And the physical constants are insane in our universe! They are balanced so perfectly to permit life.  Every time I have a twinge of doubt about my Christian faith, I think about the universe and Earth and people, animals, and vegetation.  Because wow, we are truly amazing.

Case for a Creator by Lee Strobel is an awesome book that talks about all the ways that science points towards a Creator God.  

So it is a great book, Project Hail Mary, and also absurd in its own way, but that's fine.  It is tremendous fun.

  

Pretty Flower Pictures Plus Our Anniversary

 

We celebrated our 24th anniversary last month.  Kevin was having a good foot day so we went to nearby Wegerzyn Gardens.  It is a lovely place full of flowers and they have a great kids area.  I have vague intentions of taking the children there soon but we will see. Life has been busy.

Without a doubt, Kevin is a very fine photographer with a special interest in sea life, flowers, and bugs.  We had a lovely time strolling around as I admired flowers and he took pictures and admired flowers.

24 years seems like a lot because it is. We weren't married until I was 27 and he was 26 so we aren't at the time yet where we have spent more time married than single, but we are getting there.

I am super thankful, grateful, and in love with my wonderful husband!

Friday Night Date

 Kevin and I have a long standing, running joke which is that if we are somewhere without the kids, it counts as a date.

So...yesterday morning, Kevin's gout flared up again.  He was hurting a lot to the point that it woke him up.  He called his doctor, who called in a new med to our pharmacy. He took a dose, then a couple of hours later took some ibuprofin for the pain.  (We realized he shouldn't have done that as they are the same kind of meds in some way...build on each other...whatever.)

So half an hour after the ibuprofin, he started feeling really terrible.  He felt like he was going to lose consciousness.  We were sufficiently alarmed that I ran him to a local emergency room. He couldn't really walk and felt like he was going to pass out.

They got us right in, did a bunch of tests, gave him benadryl and fluids, and a few hours later he was fine. Best guess is that the medication caused a major problem with vertigo.  For awhile, his blood pressure was through the roof but that was no doubt due to stress and/or meds? Probably stress?

So he is fine now.  They gave him anti vertigo meds.  We are thankful it wasn't a stroke.

It was a rotten date :-).