Sunday, February 20, 2022
Reading Rose!
Wednesday, February 9, 2022
Godliness with Contentment is Great Gain
1 Timothy 6
6But godliness with contentment is great gain. 7For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. 8But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.
So yes, I have been thinking a lot about contentment.
I have usually not been a content sort of person. And when I say content -- I don't mean about money. I like money for security (that is another problematic issue) but it isn't like I want a bunch of stuff. In actual fact, we do have a bunch of stuff. Our house is kind of stuffed. I mean, given that 9 people live here, that isn't surprising, and the floors are clear and the stuff fits in storage but still...
No, I will not give into a decluttering frenzy right now!
Anyway, my lack of contentment ties more into this feeling that I have projects that need completed. I have a great many things on my plate, of course, with homeschooling seven children and keeping track of clothes for said children, and making sure meals are made, and the house is cleaned. And then there is the publishing business. I am closing in on finishing another book and that's on my mind.
Every spring I have to jump through hoops for College Credit Plus, which is a glorious program wherein high school students can go to college with the credits being paid by the State of Ohio. It is open to homeschooled, but the process does require attention and collection of various documents. If I screw up, we don't get any money, so that puts some pressure on me.
So I have not yet found a place where I work hard on what needs done, while also remaining relaxed. I tend to be uptight because oh this needs to be done, and that needs to be done...
And I am NOT content, because I have this big project hanging over me.
The last few days, my back has been killing me. This is something left over from my COVID days or something; one of my last COVID symptoms was a horribly sore back. Since then, I have gotten viruses at least twice where, you guessed it, my back hurts a lot. I am pretty sure I don't have COVID or anything -- I think that when I get a virus, my back gets hit.
Today is better. Two days ago, it hurt a lot to sit down and stand up. So I spent most of the day sitting and ordering kids around. It was mellow. In spite of the pain, I felt mentally at peace because I wasn't forcing myself to run around doing stuff.
So yeah, I have done a lot of things in this life because I push myself. BUT I also feel anxious about projects. (That is much diminished because I am taking Lexapro, so part of it is brain chemistry.)
I still long to be content, while also working diligently on what needs done.
So I will pray about it, and work toward it.
Godliness with contentment is great gain.
Snow and Ice Storm!