Ukraine and Other Deep Thoughts

 So obviously what is happening in Ukraine is tragic.  On one hand, with a real war  splashed across every news screen, with inflation and gas prices rising rapidly, it seems kind of ridiculous to work on sorting socks and giving away homeschool material as described in the last post.

But...

I can't do anything about Ukraine except pray, and I have been.

I can't fix the high gas prices.  I can worry, but that doesn't help anything.

I have long been prone to anxiety so I have learned not to feed it by focusing heavily on scary news.  I do look at headlines and I do pray, but I don't deep dive into information that will just make me afraid and unable to function well.

I have important jobs at home to be a good wife and mother.  The children need to be educated, and the meals need to be made, and so on, and so forth.

I am a believer in Jesus Christ. I am an evangelical Christian who believes the Bible is true (though there are plenty of spots which can be interpreted as being symbolic, like Revelations and some of the prophecies.  Anyway...)

One of the things I struggle with is evil in the world.  So many people suffering from illness and persecution, from war and even genocide.

I think this is a common struggle for people.  There are those who have concluded atheism is the only reasonable response, with their argument being that if there was a God, He would make sure people wouldn't suffer so much.

Well, I know there is a God. I know it.  Intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, physically, I know there is a Creator God.

The universe is just stupid, you know?  I mean stupid in the sense of being ridiculous.  The physical constants are just right to allow for large, intelligent life like us.  I mean, the constants are so finely tuned that there is no way it just happened by chance.

I believe in the Big Bang, and it is ridiculous too. So finely tuned to allow for a universe where an Earth that supports humans can exist.

Not to mention that the Big Bang includes a ton of material in a tiny volume which then exploded, and where did that material come from?  Time started at some point.  At some point, the universe didn't exist.  So where did all that material come from without the Hand of God?

(For more information on this, Case for a Creator by Lee Strobel describes these issues.)

I have heard more than one person say things like:

1.  I would never believe in a God who allows children to die from wars or starvation or illness.

2. I would never believe in a God who sends people to hell.

3.  I would never believe in a God who says that extramarital sex is sinful.

And so on.

Here's the thing, we don't have to believe in God.  God gave us free will.

But we have very small brains compared to a Creator who made an entire galaxy.  

I don't like the reality of Hell. I don't like kids dying.  

But, I also know that I have a very limited perspective.  I am not God.  He is the King, and whatever He says, goes.   (That is a quote from the Veggietales Esther, which I find hilarious in the movie.  But TRUTH!)

As I've pontificated about before, cultures get wacky easily. I was reading this week about the Last Emperor of China, who was yanked away from his parents at age 2 to be the new Emperor, or the new heir to the Emperor. Something.  Since he was Emperor (or the heir), no one could tell him no.  Seriously had any of those people ever seen a toddler?  If there is one thing a toddler needs, it is someone to tell him NO!  Like, if he grabs a knife, or climbs on top of a tall cupboard, or whatever.

Apparently his wet nurse was the only person who could control him.

The man was a total sadist as an adult, though I think he did repent  of many of his actions at the end of his life.  But he was horribly mean to his servants.  

How did the Chinese culture get to the point where they thought yanking a toddler from his family, and never giving him discipline, and making him into some sort of god, was a good idea?

Wow.

So Jesus is God incarnate, and He came to earth in the womb of Mary, and he grew up and he taught and he healed and then he DIED.

Unpleasantly.  Crucifixion is a horrible way to die.  The Old Testament of the Bible, which was the First Covenant, required animal sacrifice to wash away sin.  Jesus was the final sacrifice.  I think that the blood debt would have been paid if they had just chopped his head off, which isn't a bad way to die.  Crucifixion is terrible.  

There is a lot more to unpack here but it helps me to realize that for all the pain and suffering in this world, Jesus experienced pain and suffering as well to save me, to save the people He loves, from our sins.

So yes, there is a great war in Ukraine and people are dying.  I grieve over it. God does too. Why doesn't He just leap in and fix it?  No idea.  But I AM NOT GOD.  I submit to the reality that I don't see the big picture.

For now, I will pray, and I will ask God to give me guidance, and I will do my work at home, and yes, I will write books, and I will read fun books, and I will take pleasure in life.  

God bless you, Ukraine.  And God bless you, Russia. I have no doubt many people are totally opposed to this war in Russia. It is sad for both countries' people.

This Week

 A week ago, I finished my work on our latest book, Gallant Mr. Darcy, which will be published soon.  Kevin has been juggling all kinds of tasks involving the book launch but I am the Talent, and I don't deal with that stuff.

Kevin's job has also been demanding lately so, kudos to Kevin for managing everything!

So this week my brain veered from finishing the book to dealing with a bunch of little and big projects that had been allowed to lie fallow of late.

A big project involved our 5th wheel, which is parked beside our barn. We bought it 4 or 5 years ago, with the idea that it would be a little "cabin away from home.".  It was; when we still had very small children running around, Kevin and I would retreat there on date nights and watch a movie or just hang out together. Being 100 feet from the house was amazingly relaxing. Instead of hearing yelling and thumping of little feet, we just left the older kids in charge (yes, we did pay them for babysitting, though not a high hourly rate) and enjoyed one another's company.

Then Naomi lived in the 5th wheel for much of a year.  She had graduated from college but had a low paying job, and couldn't afford to live on her own yet.  But she could live in the 5th wheel, which she did.  She is an introvert and the sheer number of people in our house was not easy on her.  

Eventually, Lydia graduated and got a job, and they moved out, and are enjoying being on their own very much!

Oh, and Naomi got a much better job in computers.  Yeah!!  Praise God!!

Lately, we haven't been using the 5th wheel much.  We are in the hot tub enjoying one another's company, or we can watch movies in the basement or even on the computer without a lot of interruptions. There is a big difference between having a toddler and a 7 year old!  Rose is still very active and busy, but she can leave us alone when necessary.

So, we have decided to sell the 5th wheel, and this week the kids and I worked on getting the inside cleaned out and cleaned.  We had some stuff out there; not a ton, but some. Which means, yeah, I have to figure out what to do with all that stuff!

We had sleeping bags out there and the kids have decided that the living room is a fine place to set up a "tent city".  They have been having fun.

So yes, the inside of the RV looks good, and Kevin will clean up the outside a little, and we will try to sell it.  Probably we will find a buyer; apparently RV's are in hot demand right now.

I went through socks.  Ughhh.  Threw out some that were small or wearing out.  Matched a bunch.  Also found quite a few without mates.  

I went through some of my books and homeschool materials and set aside a bunch of stuff to give away. I posted the best of the lot on a local homeschooling group and a lady promptly said she would take everything. She homeschools and is a teacher at a private school so she said she could use everything.

I am hoping that this is the last gasp of winter. It is currently in the low 20's and we got snow yesterday.

  

Playdough

 On Sunday night, Daniel got very excited. He suggested that I make playdough and he use that playdough to make a topographical map on a cookie sheet, with the topography including a volcano.  Ok, I said.  Monday morning I made playdough, we colored it, he made the map, and voila.

It worked very well and he was rightfully proud of the whole idea.

Then Tuesday I made more playdough, so it has been playdough city around here.

Today they wanted me to make MORE playdough but I said no, enough playdough for now!  

So sweet and creative!

Cedar Ceiling in the Sun Room

We purchased a hot tub and installed it in our sun room last October.  We weren't certain how much we would enjoy it. Answer: we love it. Someone goes in almost every night, usually Kevin and me, sometimes the kids as well.

So yes, it has been great. Except that the increased moisture is making water droplets form on the ceiling, which caused the paint to bubble and peel.  Kevin, of course, was not going to stand for that kind of nonsense, so he prepared to put cedar boards on the ceiling.  And voila...

It is close to being done now.  It looks really good!

 

The two kittens/cats (still not full grown, but pretty big!) have been spending many hours inside as Kevin and Isaac pound and toil away in their sun room. Our younger kids think that is awesome.

Ice pictures

 We were blessed with a most unusual ice storm a few days ago.  Is 'storm' quite the right word? Probably not. We received freezing rain, but the roads were fine, probably because they were warm.  The trees, however, and the bushes, and the tall waving grasses, were coated in ice.  It was beautiful and amazing.

This effect is from the setting sun glowing red in the ice.

Seriously, it was like a fairyland!

Anyway, it has all melted now. Yesterday, it was 60 degrees outside.  It felt absolutely wonderful. Almost shorts weather!

Reading Rose!

 

Rose is really making progress on reading!

It is exciting to see.  She still isn't an expert, but has made significant progress in the last month or two. She can read parts of Frog and Toad pretty easily.

Today she tackled Green Eggs and Ham and did about a third of it by herself.  I keep bribing her by letting her earn toys when she reads!

So yes, it is so fun. Also, she adores being read to, especially Dog Man. I read to her almost every day and she is able to recognize more and more words in Dog Man.

Yes, my 9th child is almost there!!

Godliness with Contentment is Great Gain

1 Timothy 6

6But godliness with contentment is great gain. 7For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. 8But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. 

So yes, I have been thinking a lot about contentment.

I have usually not been a content sort of person. And when I say content -- I don't mean about money.  I like money for security (that is another problematic issue) but it isn't like I want a bunch of stuff.  In actual fact, we do have a bunch of stuff.  Our house is kind of stuffed.  I mean, given that 9 people live here, that isn't surprising, and the floors are clear and the stuff fits in storage but still...

No, I will not give into a decluttering frenzy right now!

Anyway, my lack of contentment ties more into this feeling that I have projects that need completed.  I have a great many things on my plate, of course, with homeschooling seven children and keeping track of clothes for said children, and making sure meals are made, and the house is cleaned.  And then there is the publishing business.  I am closing in on finishing another book and that's on my mind.

Every spring I have to jump through hoops for College Credit Plus, which is a glorious program wherein high school students can go to college with the credits being paid by the State of Ohio. It is open to homeschooled, but the process does require attention and collection of various documents.  If I screw up, we don't get any money, so that puts some pressure on me.

So I have not yet found a place where I work hard on what needs done, while also remaining relaxed.  I tend to be uptight because oh this needs to be done, and that needs to be done...

And I am NOT content, because I have this big project hanging over me.

The last few days, my back has been killing me.  This is something left over from my COVID days or something; one of my last COVID symptoms was a horribly sore back. Since then, I have gotten viruses at least twice where, you guessed it, my back hurts a lot.  I am pretty sure I don't have COVID or anything -- I think that when I get a virus, my back gets hit.

Today is better. Two days ago, it hurt a lot to sit down and stand up. So I spent most of the day sitting and ordering kids around. It was mellow.  In spite of the pain, I felt mentally at peace because I wasn't forcing myself to run around doing stuff.

So yeah, I have done a lot of things in this life because I push myself. BUT I also feel anxious about projects.  (That is much diminished because I am taking Lexapro, so part of it is brain chemistry.)

I still long to be content, while also working diligently on what needs done.

So I will pray about it, and work toward it.

Godliness with contentment is great gain.