Lessons from the Life of King David

I've read the Bible almost every day of my life since I was 11 years old.  I'm 43, so that's 32 years!

When I first started reading the Bible, I read a chapter a day. I just plowed through from the beginning of the Bible to the end. That IS one way to do it, but many people recommend starting with the gospels of Jesus.  Truthfully, some of the early books of the Old Testament are hard reading with their long descriptions of Jewish ceremonial law, and their lists of names.  Yes, they all have value, but they aren't easy reading.

Nowadays, I hop around the Bible. I read the Bible using the following website:

http://www.enduringword.com/

I've mentioned this website before.  It is the Word of God along with commentary exploring the social and political background of the text, plus commentary from various theologians. Do I trust the commentary 100% to be right?  No, of course not.  The commentators are people, not God. BUT I find learning about the historical background to be fascinating and the theological commentary is useful.  I've read the Bible many times, but there is always something new for me to learn.  And reading about what other people THINK about a passage is often instructive.

A few weeks ago, I finished reading through the life of King David, the most famous of the Kings of Israel.  I felt like God was showing me something new every day I read about his life, though of course I've read about David many times before.

I could say a lot about him, but I'm going to stick with this today. 

He was an unsuccessful father.  Bluntly, much of his family life was a mess!

Is that overstating things? I really don't think so.

Consider this...

He married a host of women and had MANY children.  This was common for the day, but it led to some grievous consequences.

For one thing, I think David got into the habit of looking around at random women as potential wives or concubines. 

So when he saw a particularly beautiful woman named Bathsheba bathing on the roof of a building next to his palace, he didn't turn away.  He sent for her.  When he found out she was already married, he committed adultery with her.

When Bathsheba conceived a child with David, David arranged to have her husband killed on the front lines of a war.  David MURDERED her husband.

Why is this relevant to parenting?  Well, first, David showed that he put his own lusts and desires over the well being of his family. Obviously, his sin made him a poor example to his children. 

Second, David experienced major consequences that affected his children.  The child conceived in adultery was stricken by the God, and died as a young infant. . Third,  God warned that because of David's sin, there would be turmoil in David's family.

God doesn't cause sin, so I believe that the powerful protective hand of God was removed from David's family, and Satan was able to get in and start messing things up in a big way.

The aftermath was horrifying.

Amnon fell in "love" (but it was really lust) with his HALF SISTER Tamar, and raped her.

David did nothing about it.  He was angry with Amnon, but took no steps to discipline his son.  A few years later another son, Absalom (full brother to Tamar), killed Amnon in retaliation. 

Absalom fled to a foreign country, but after a few years, David let him come back to Israel.The Word says that David accepted Absalom, but there is no indication that he dealt with his son's sin, anger, etc.  David apparently just ignored what had happened and decided it was "water under the bridge."  Absalom still had... a few issues.

Some time later, Absalom started a revolt to take over the kingdom. His clear desire was to kill his father and take the crown.  In order to make it clear that the breach between his father and Absalom was irrevocable, Absalom basically raped 10 of his father's concubines on the palace roof.

Ok, can we sing, "Messed up family, very very very messed up family!"?

I will confess that David's life story is alarming to me.  Because here was a guy who LOVED GOD.  LOVED HIM! 

The Lord said over and over again that David was a man after His own heart.

But David was also a sinner.  Aren't we all!

It alarms me that David's sins and example had such a horrifying effect on his children.

It makes me fall to my knees, if not actually, at least figuratively. And yes, sometimes I get down on my knees and pray for my children.

One other thing that comes to mind is that David fell into a cultural trap that resulted in a lot of grief...namely, the cultural expectation that a king would have many wives and concubines.  Lots of sons from different mothers, and David not able to parent any of the children enough -- not to mention make his wives happy.

  From the beginning, the Lord said that a man should cleave with his wife and the two should become one flesh.  Not ... the 5 or 10 or 1000 should become one flesh.

David was, outwardly speaking, a successful king. Inwardly, he loved the Lord. But I think his family was his blind spot.  He was not able to control his passions, and he wasn't willing to spend enough time with his kids. He especially wasn't willing to discipline them.

So...what do I learn from all this?

I need to pray the Lord grants Kevin and me wisdom to choose a different path from our culture when our cultural ways aren't healthy.

We need to discipline our children whether we feel like it or not.

We need to spend (lots of) time with our children.

We need to work on our marriage faithfully. That takes time, but it is so important that our children live in a home with 2 parents who are committed to each other.

How are we doing?  I think we're doing well. By God's grace, we'll raise children who love the Lord and love each other and love us.  That's my prayer. I will never be a queen of a country and I don't want to be, but if I (eventually) die with children who love each other and Jesus, I'll die joyful!