Big Family

People sometimes ask me and Kevin, "So, did you grow up in big families?"

The answer is no.  Kevin has one sibling, I have 2.

I came across a question in a blog today asking, "How do children who grew up in big families FEEL about being a member of a large family?"

That's a challenging question and an intimidating one, I admit.  I really really really really really want to be a great wife and mother.  With 8 kids, I definitely have WAY less time per kid than if I had 1 or 2 children.

We have a large family because we felt the Lord's call to accept the children HE brought to us.  I don't think either of us fathomed we would end up with a LARGE family, since we married in our late 20's and I had Naomi, our first, when I was 30!

As we like to joke, we've been focused.  8 kids in less than 13 years is definitely unusual.

And you know, we're totally in love, crazy about, through the roof delighted, with every one of our children. It is hard to imagine life without one of them, it really is.

That is not to say life is always a bed of roses, because it is not. Sometimes I get tired of the constant mess, the baby climbing EVERYTHING, the frequent bickering, the struggle to keep up with meals, the FATIGUE.

Our kids spend almost all day every day together, since we homeschool. That means they are close in many ways. They love each other. They are best friends. They also totally annoy one another at times. Sometimes they annoy me.  Sometimes I annoy them.

That is really LIFE, you know?  I think having the kids at home with me (with Kevin home in the evening) is forcing us to be real.  I can get along with people I rarely see, but with family, I have to WORK to be patient and kind and longsuffering and generous. 

So, I hope and pray our children will emerge into adulthood with good memories of their childhood. It won't be perfect, because life isn't. I am sure some of the kids sometimes are frustrated that they don't get more one on one time with me. Sometimes they wish they could just go hide in a room somewhere. Sometimes they DO hide in a room somewhere.

But at the end of the day, I think the kids enjoy being members of a big brood.  Perhaps the most obvious positive message is that every time we've announced another pregnancy, the children who are old enough to understand have been delighted. That does encourage me as pregnancy leaves me tired and sick, and a new baby takes a lot of time. But the older ones dote on the littles, and that fills my heart with joy.