Sometimes Our Fabulous Littles Are Awful

   We're having a "season" with our 3 and 2 year old children. They've been very difficult the last few days.

 But let me back up a bit on that.  I have a dear friend, a mentor, who told me that age 3 was a very challenging age for her daughter.  I think our kids have been challenging at 3, but for some reason I've blocked it out.  I just remember dear D. telling me that.

 Anyhow, Sarah has been pushing things and honestly, I've been letting her get away with disobedience.  I have read that early kids are often disciplined more than later born children.  Most "experts" say or imply that Mom and Dad are too tired and worn out to discipline the young ones as well as they disciplined the older children.  They just kind of "give up" because it is too much trouble to discipline the young ones.  Supposedly.

 I wouldn't use "tired" or "lazy" to describe me and my discipline style.  I feel pretty good physically and not too tired, and I am a very diligent parent and I know how important discipline is for every child, regardless of where he or she falls in the birth order.

   But I am definitely, over the top, distracted.  I've got a baby who needs me, I'm having intense and interesting discussions with my teens on occasion, and I've got an older son struggling with math.  Our preschooler and toddler are cared for well and get lots of attention from siblings and parents.  BUT, I sometimes tell one of the littles not to do something, and he or she waits a minute and disobeys, and I miss it because something else grabbed my attention.

  Sarah, who is a smart little cookie, has been doing something sweet but disobedient. When I'm nursing Rose, Sarah likes to crowd up against us and kiss Rose's head.  I allow that once, but then tell her to go away as she distracts Rose.  But until 2 days ago, Sarah usually disobeyed me and just kept kissing Rose's head, and I just kept saying, "Stop, Sarah!"  Over and over.

 Looking back, I'm appalled at that particular brand of bad parenting.  Nothing reinforces disobedience like repeated instruction and no consequences for disobedience. But like I said, I've been distracted.  And when I'm nursing Rose, the last thing I want to do is to stop nursing and deal with disobedience. Sigh.

 So 2 days ago, I realized I needed to start cracking down on Sarah's disobedience in this area and once I started paying attention, I realized she was disobeying about a host of things. She has a common trait of wanting a toy that someone else has.  She has been snatching toys from Daniel regularly, and having tug of wars over toys.  When I tell her to let go, she disobeys me 100% of the time.

  None of this is to be "down" on Sarah. She is only 3 years old.  The thing is, she is desperate for boundaries. I believe with all my heart that kids really do want their parents to provide a safe and understandable life.  Her will says she wants a toy, RIGHT NOW, and she'll gladly snatch or steal from someone to get it.  But in her heart, she wants a safe place where no one is allowed to snatch HER toys.  So me being careless in this area is bad for her and the whole family.

 I've started giving her one spank when she disobeys me, or I have a big kid remove her to our study (which is a toy room) on occasion (like when I'm nursing Rose and she is disobedient.)

  I don't think it is surprising that since I started disciplining, Sarah's disobedience has escalated.  Various experts would say various thing about that, but my belief is that she is testing to see if I will cave.  Will I really keep following up?  Or will I give in?  So I need to be very consistent and diligent right now, though it IS tiring.

  Daniel is mirroring some of the same behaviors as Sarah, albeit at a less sophisticated level because he is only 2.  He and Sarah have been quarreling a lot the last few days.

 All this is very tiring but I'm praying for wisdom and patience from God, and strength from God as well.