Sunday, February 8, 2015

I Know It is Not PC, but Yes, the Twos Can be Terrible

I know classy moms have renamed The Terrible Twos, the Terrific Twos.

Yes, it is great that 2 year olds are exploring their worlds, and learning boundaries, and testing the limits, and moving beyond the placid acceptance of babyhood.

But groan and moan, life with a 2 year old can be pretty hard.

This morning is a FINE example.  Yesterday (Saturday) was rather crazy.  Kevin and I headed over to his grandmother's house in the morning; she died 15 months ago and there was a legal wrangle due to there being no will, which has been sorted out legally, and the house needs emptied.  We offered to help K's mom by moving the unsorted stuff into our barn so the house can be put on the market.

So we went with Rose, and Kevin worked and I nursed her and we discussed how to transport items.

Then we came home in time for lunch. I worked on various items and Kevin made another trip to his grandmother's house for more items; we crossed paths at 3:30 p.m., when he got back and I took Naomi and Lydia to a friend's birthday party. We got home at 6 p.m., I fed Rose, and then Kevin and I went out on a date.

So it was a good and productive day, but somehow in the middle of all that, Daniel's schedule got totally out of whack. I am HUGE into schedules and I'm rather obsessive about naps.  IF Daniel naps (and he rarely does, these days) it needs to be an early nap.  If he falls asleep at 4 p.m. or so, I talk to him and turn on lights and slightly annoy him so he doesn't sleep too long. I don't know what happened last night, but I suspect he slept way too long with the result that our precious boy woke up at 4 a.m. this morning, and has been up since.

We don't cosleep so when a child is up at night, he or she is UP (unless illness is a factor.)  So Daniel has been UP.  So I've been UP, because no way can I turn our crazy boy loose in the house and go back to bed.

So I'm really really tired right now.  Not the way I wanted to start a Sunday but hey, at least no one is actively sick.

Today, his schedule tightens down again. NO LATE NAPS.

That is just a microcosm of life with this boy. He is incredibly, adorably, amazingly cute. He is smart and healthy and exciting.  But he is adversarial with me.  I am the one he is around the most, and he is testing the boundaries of life, learning what is allowed and what is not.

He is usually quite angelic with Kevin. He adores his daddy and I am very very glad.  But it is somewhat hilarious that he cozies up to Kevin and usually behaves himself, whereas I deal with all day, every day negativity and "no no no" and all that.  Kevin is stricter than I am, but I know that it isn't just that I'm a "softy".  Daniel is totally unreasonable with me (which is normal for a toddler) -- for example, if I offer something tasty to eat he'll usually just say "NO!" for the sheer joy of disagreeing with me.

A very very very wise friend of mine told me LONG ago that we aren't called to "enjoy" our children.  That has been one of the most useful things I've  learned in my life as a parent.  I love my children.  I adore my children.  Sometimes I enjoy my kids. But I don't always. There are challenging aspects of EVERY relationship in life.  If I expect parenting to be one long ode of joy, I'm going to seriously disappointed.  So I don't.  I relish the good times and pray through the hard times (like when I'm seriously sleep deprived.)

Right now, my dear boy is sitting peacefully on my lap watching Muppet videos. This is a comparatively good time.  Now if only I can get a nap today.






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