You look good!

  

  A couple of days ago, I popped up in the morning, buckled Rose into her car seat, and drove off for a 7:30 a.m. blood draw so I can find out my latest A1c. The nurse doing the blood draw admired Rose (who was being charming) and asked if I had other children. 

  The answer of "yes, we actually have 9 children" usually provokes an interesting response.  Very rarely is someone overtly rude, which I appreciate.  Often there is a glassy eyed look of shock, followed by a feeble "wow, that's a lot of kids" or a "oh, that's nice".  Occasionally, someone assumes it is a "his, hers, ours" situation and are stunned when I say that no, they are ALL ours :-).

  The nurse seemed like a forthright and chatty person and her immediate question was, "Oh, are you Catholic?"

  "No," I said, "We're evangelical Christians who felt God's leading to trust Him with our family size, and He blessed us with 9 children." 

  She then looked me up and down and said, "You look GOOD!"

  That made me chuckle inwardly. That is not the first time someone has said that to me, "You look good!"

  I appreciate the compliment.  But it makes me wonder...what is a 45 year old mother of 9 supposed to look like?  

  There seem to be assumptions, and I'm guessing they relate to weight, gray hairs, and perhaps wrinkles and a wild eyed look suggesting that the mother in question might be headed towards a nervous breakdown.

 Thanks to a rapid metabolism and restricted diet due to diabetes, I weigh a few pounds less now than when we were married.

 Thanks to genetics, my hair hasn't grayed much.

 Thanks to...genetics, again, I guess...I don't have that many wrinkles.

 Thanks to the Lord's continued working in my life, I'm not stressed to the point of going completely off my rocker.  Yes, life is hard sometimes and I do get stressed.  

  Actually, I get very stressed.

 This nurse said (and I've heard this before), "I don't have the patience to have a lot of children."

  I'm not a peaceful, patient, mellow, laid back person.

  I think I am fairly patient, but seriously folks -- one of my frequent prayers is, "Lord, give me patience."  And He does.

  I'm not mellow or laid back. I'm a first born perfectionistic engineer.  I'm overcoming the perfectionism thing, but I do find it hard when the house is messy and the littles are acting nuts.

  I guess this is kind of a follow up to my email about working moms... my belief is that a Christian should seek God's will and follow it to the best of her (imperfect) ability.  I don't remotely have this "mothering" thing down to a perfect science.  I wish I did.  I wish I knew how to do everything perfectly while raising my children, but I never will and I know that.

   Every new stage of my older kids is a challenge.  Every time I potty train a child, I work on not being stressed out.  (I will say that I'm way more mellow with Kid #8 than with my first couple of children.)

  American wisdom would say that 9 children are "too many" to care for and raise well.   (I won't even address the issue of carbon footprint.)

 But the reality is that everyone has challenges in life. I have single friends who have stress from loneliness and financial struggles, and I know moms with learning disabled children, and 2 dear friends who were widowed at a young age.  I have friends who have health problems, or have kids with health problems. I have friends whose children need regular therapy here and there.  We all have stress.  

  Early in our marriage we heard from God, for us, that we should trust the Lord to bring us the children He had for us.

  Naomi's birth 15+ years ago was, at that time, the 3rd best thing that had ever happened to me, with my salvation and my marriage being #1 and #2.

 I now have 8 more equally special days, as we've welcomed 9 precious souls into the world.

  I'm glad I look good to the casual eye of some, but the important thing is I'm trying, not always that well, to be in the center of God's will for my life.  I do have some gray hairs and some scars and other accouterments of parenting.  That's cool.  

  I hope we can all trust God that if He leads us to a certain life, He'll also give us the strength and wisdom we need to do what He is calling us to do.  And hey, we may even look pretty good in the process :-).