Update on My Weight

I said months ago I would update on my attempt to lose weight.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Finally, in my late 40's, I am experiencing the reality known by most of you, that losing weight is hard!

So yeah, I haven't really lost weight.  The last 7 months were crazy anyway, of course, with the miscarriage and the hysterectomy. I gained weight during the pregnancy because we did have a baby and a heartbeat there for a bit.  Then I had surgery and lost some weight, because I felt lousy for awhile.

Now I'm hovering at 158 lbs or so.

I am 5 ft. 8 inches tall, so that is not an unreasonable weight at all.  But except for pregnancy and post partum, I've always been less.  Like the most I used to be was 145 lbs. So when I look in the mirror, I look a bit heavy to my own eyes.

Does it matter?  I think the answer is a resounding NO.  But for all that I disdain our culture and its obsession with thinness, it does bother me sometimes at some visceral, unconscious level until I whack myself upside the head (figuratively) and run through the truth.

I am a child of God Most High.

I am loved.

My shape and size do not reflect at all my value as a human being.

My goal should always be to treat my body like a temple of the Holy Spirit, which it is. So I should attempt to be healthy without being obsessive.

I have improved my stamina and general health a great deal in the last 6 months. Post surgery I was a weak mess. I am now literally running up the stairs.  Like really. Running.  Me.  Stamina.  Awesome.

So I will not worry about my weight.  Now if I gain 10 lbs in the next couple of months, that's a problem. Because if I get too heavy, it really will affect my health.  I am diabetic already and being significantly overweight would probably increase my insulin resistance.  But probably that won't happen. I've been coasting along in the upper 150's for months now.  It seems to be my new normal.

I am content, and am thankful for my body which came back from surgery.

And I'm thankful to the Lord who watched over me and kept me safe through the ordeal of the pregnancy last year.  God gave me some awesome doctors and I live in a time and place with excellent hospitals and safe medication. Kevin and the kids took amazing care of me. I'm thankful.