End of September

 It finally got cooler. Last week was in the mid to high 80s. This week it is in the 70s which feels really good. Also, we got a bunch of rain after weeks of no rain. The green beans are still producing and will probably be happier with cooler weather and more rain, which makes me happy.

I love green beans so much. So yummy!

I did drop my Lexapro some weeks ago, and I am feeling it. I have lost a little weight, which is nice. My anxiety isn't horrible, but it is definitely higher than it was. I THINK it is probably the Lexapro change that is causing higher anxiety.

Or not. I don't like uncertainty and right now there is a great deal. I have three kids job hunting, and it is stressful. When the children were very young, I could solve their problems. I could give them baths and feed them and kiss them and I could give them medicine if they were sick.

Now they are young adults and are venturing out on their own. They are making phone calls and receiving phone calls and making choices about this and that and the other.  Which is SO good. We can be supportive and provide guidance, but they have to make their own choices. It is all good.

But certainly as a parent it isn't easy either!

I have also still been struggling with grief over Charlie Kirk's death. Again, I am aware that worse things have happened in the sense of school shootings in elementary and high schools where there are multiple fatalities.

As I said in the last blog post, I am careful not to delve too deeply into those things because I don't need that additional fear in my life about my own dear children.

Charlie Kirk's death has been the cause of rejoicing by a lot of people, which makes me very sad. Political violence is never the right answer.

Melissa Hortman and her husband, the former a Minnesota Democratic legislator, were murdered by a horrible evil person in June of this year. That is equally tragic to Charlie's murder.

Lots of people we follow on line -- conservatives with whom we agree -- were close friends to Charlie Kirk, and they are mourning.

Also, I don't think anyone with two brain cells and any degree of honor rejoices in the deaths of kids in school, and the murder of the Hortmans.

And yet, there are all these people lying about Kirk and his words and saying it is good he is dead, and saying that they wish his wife was taken out next so their children can be raised by "good" liberals who will raise them to hate their parents. I actually did see someone say that.

It is sickening. The truth is I need to stop looking at stuff like that, of course. And I will. No more. Lots of people are entirely sensible on both sides of the aisle, and most people did come out against the celebration of the assassination.

But it is still sad and frankly outraging to me. I am a scientist by training and know that in order to make good analysis about a person, you need to take their words in context. And they don't. They don't. They take little snippets of Kirk's words and paint him as an evil person.

Not that HE cares. He is in Heaven with Jesus.

So yeah, I need to just let God be God and pray for healing in our land. It is sad, and lots of people we follow are grieving because Charlie Kirk was a close friend. 

And there are people in Minnesota who have a giant hole in their lives because of the death of the Hortmans.

And there was another shooting in Minnesota recently where two kids were murdered by a shooter.

So there is a lot of grief in this world. Part of life is accepting that, and part of it is looking to the future, when every tear will be wiped away in Heaven with our Lord.