Cultures Get Squirrely Sometimes

 So this is something I think about a LOT!

Cultures get squirrely.

What do I mean by that?  I mean that sometimes most people in a culture heartily embrace something as sensible and wise and good and healthy when we can see, from our current perspective, that it is not.

Here is a very obvious example: foot binding.

In China, for many generations I believe, baby girls from wealthier families had their feet bound to prevent them from growing large.  Having tiny feet was considered beautiful.  Naturally, it hurt a lot for these girls to have their feet bound so tightly that their body couldn't grow normally. When they grew up, they were partially crippled and had to be assisted to do everything.

But it was normalized totally. It was accepted as good!  In fact, when the Chinese government forbade foot binding, there was a lot of pushback from families to the point that parents would try to hide their girls from the "foot police" so that they could continue binding their girls' feet. It was SO entrenched in the culture that they couldn't see how bad it was!

I would say corsets are similar; seriously, what kind of insanity is it when girls have their waists pinched so tightly they can't breathe well?

A bunch of our children are in orthodontia.  It is expensive.  Frankly, it is painful at times.  Angela had a major adjustment last week and for several days, her mouth and teeth were really sore.

And I found myself thinking -- Ok, we are spending a lot of money to straighten her teeth, which hurts.  Are we so different from parents who bound the feet of their girls?

The answer is, I think, a strong yes.  The reason she has orthodontia is because she inherited the genetics of some members of my family; narrow face, big overbite.  The result is that IF she didn't have orthodontia, her teeth would probably wear away over time and she would have tooth problems in middle age.  Also, her jaw might get messed up from the teeth not meeting properly.

However, it is also true that in American culture, straight teeth are considered attractive.  Even without the medical issues, there might be a strong argument for having orthodontia because it is easier to get jobs and even spouses if one has even, straight teeth.

But really, that kind of sucks.  I mean, if one's teeth WORK fine, and are a crooked, should it matter?

Should we spend tons of money to straighten teeth for merely cosmetic reasons?  Should we hurt our children for cosmetic reasons?

I find myself having a little more sympathy for crazy parents who encouraged corsets and foot binding. I still think it was bad, but when an entire culture embraces something it is hard to swim against the flow.  One worries, as a parent, that their children will have trouble if they don't act.

In our case, the decisions have been easier because there is a medical issue involved.  

By the way, I saw our orthodontist today and he said when he was done caring for Kendigs, he would retire.  It was a joke, but seriously, we have been very, very lucrative for him!

So far, we have had four children in orthodontia, and Miriam is starting soon, and Sarah will need it, and probably Rose as well.

We have vague hopes that Daniel will not. We will see!

Wow.

This Week

Lydia had a friend visiting from California for a couple of weeks. We had a good-bye pizza party for her.  

Jet adored my fuzzy robe as a baby.  He still loves to suck on it and knead it with his now fairly big paws.  A couple of days ago, he managed to squeeze his large body into the sleeve, where he crouched for a good half hour, just enjoying the coziness. This is him squirting out the end!

There was a major winter storm that hit south and east of here. And I guess west as well. Anyway, we just got the northern fringe of it. The children were very excited to have some snow to play in!  

It is beautiful.  You can see we didn't get a ton of snow.

In other news, I was pretty sick on Sunday.  I was very tired, had a sore throat, and a headache.  I have several friends who have gotten COVID twice now so naturally it occurred to me that I might have Omnicron.  Yesterday I felt better and today I feel better still, so if I DID have another bout, it was super mild. Probably it was just some stupid virus that wasn't COVID.  

Kevin made plans for us to go to St. Croix in a few months.  Yeah!  We will have fun. This summer is our 25th wedding anniversary which is frankly CRAZY!  Hard to believe!

Isaac and Joseph are back in the saddle of taking college classes.  Isaac has quite a heavy load of engineering courses.

Lydia spent the last month or so without a job.  She currently has a short term, well paying nannying job and is also interviewing for other positions.  It is hard as a parent not to worry about my offspring who need to earn money, but I keep TRYING to give it all to the Lord.  We would never let Lydia starve, of course.  She is smart, a hard worker and very young still; she has to figure out exactly what she wants to do full time.  Life rarely provides a straight path forward and I am getting better at embracing that reality.

Rose and Reading

 

Rose is still not reading fluently. She is seven and a half and is making steady progress, but hasn't made the leap to fluency.

One of the things I have learned through years of homeschooling is that it is helpful to find books that the kids like.  Rose does like certain books, though she needs them read to her. She is particularly fond of Smurfs and Dog Man.

So Smurfs are fine EXCEPT that for reasons I CANNOT fathom, the Smurf books have tiny, tiny print.  My eyes are good for a woman of 52 years, but tiny print is not my friend.  I have trouble reading a lot of Smurfs to her without getting a headache.

Dog Man is better. They are graphic novel type books about a cop who has the head of a dog and the body of a man, because of an explosion which killed the body of the dog and the head of the man. So they sewed the head of the dog onto the man.

Hence, Dog Man.

Yes, it is silly and delightful.  There are themes of friendship, and growth. The print is big and I can read it to Rose easily. The stories have some easy words so I can point at certain words and have Rose sound them out. 

So all is well and beautiful EXCEPT that the author has included a lot of bathroom humor.  Some of it is egregious and annoying.  I don't want Rose singing about bodily functions like some of the main characters in Dog Man.  

So ... I bought seven books for Rose for Christmas, and went through them all with a black Sharpie and crossed out the offensive stuff.  Now I am sure some people are horrified by that, but hey, I don't want my seven year old singing about unpleasant things.  I don't.  And she probably would, because Rose is strong willed and a CHARACTER.  A glorious, wonderful, charming, amazing, energetic character, but not a mellow person, and she would enjoy singing annoying songs, I am sure of it.

She'll get there on reading.  She'll get there.  

Pictures!

 

Kevin with Opal, who is getting HUGE

Our three sons

Sarah, post hot tub.  Joseph, who runs cold.  Daniel, who likes to run barefoot even in winter

New Year's Eve!

This picture was taken on Christmas Day. It is a little warped because of the lens but Kevin messed with it so it is pretty good.

I remember when I was very young, when I was going to Michigan Tech. as an undergraduate student, that I would come home for Christmas break and just want to sleep all the time.  I worked very hard during the semester and was just worn out when I got back.

I feel a little like that this 'break' from school.  I have been extra tired.  I have been taking naps almost every day.  Of course, we had three birthdays and Christmas in the last 2 weeks so I haven't had a ton of downtime. But definitely, not teaching is relaxing.

It has been a good break so far, but I am annoyed at how tired I am!

However...

We have much to be thankful for.  Happy New Year's Eve!

 

Christmas Week

  Last week was very busy and quite difficult for a variety of reasons.  Partly it is my famous personality. I don't like being away from home much.

Partly it was we had a lot going on.  I had so many medical appointments and the like.  Ugh.  I even ADDED a quick trip to the eye doctor as my glasses weren't working as well as they should. Turns out that in 6 months, my vision has deteriorated in both eyes. Not a lot (0.25 in some random eye unit) but still, I will be happier with new glasses, which are covered under warranty. So that's cool.

Optometrist asked about my blood sugars because high bg's can cause problems with vision, but A1c of 5.9 should not tie into diabetes related issues with vision.

This week is blissful in that I don't have to go anywhere particular until Sunday church.

I did go to Sam's Club early this morning.  It was vaguely heroic because I had to roust myself out of bed, swallow down tea and breakfast, and rush off. BUT it was great because I am a "plus" member and the store was largely empty.  ALSO, and this is a BIG deal, my cart was fantastic.  Sam's seems to have a real gift for providing creaky, cranky carts with wheels that are wobbly.  This one rolled so smoothly that it was noticeable. I kept thinking, wow, this is a great cart!

We have three birthdays and Christmas in the next 2 weeks. Whee!  Kevin informed me this morning that we were short 4 presents.  True confessions here; I have a tendency to dump the "present buying" job on Kevin. But I found 3 presents online and ordered them, and Kevin figured out the fourth present, so we are good.  Or we are good so long as Amazon comes through.

My new book, Longbourn's Son, is thus far very popular. It is likely a good time to release a book. Lots of people are off work and reading books for fun, and other people are buying gifts for others.  

We responsibly took our kittens in to get fixed this week.  Usually we have worked with a place that provides cheap spays and neuters for stray cats.  These two are indeed rescues so we called them enthusiastically, only to be informed that the earliest we could get them in was February!

Um, no.  By that time, they would be able to have babies together which totally would NOT be Ok.  So we went through a local veterinarian which was expensive but it was done quickly and the cats bounced back very well.  It is nice to know that is taken care of!

//

We also paid for a month of ESPN so we can watch college football bowl games. That is actually quite fun!  The University of Michigan made the final four and while they may well fall before the might of Georgia, at least they made it a long way this year.

//

Isaac and Joseph are on break from college which is nice for them. I think Isaac, in particular, was pretty worn out by the end of the semester. It was his first semester with a full load. He did well and I am proud of him. 

Joseph took one class and did well.  Next semester, he will take two classes.

//

It is easy this time of year to forget "the reason for the season".  Life is very busy for us, especially with three kid birthdays, and sometimes I forget that Jesus is the center of it all.  

More than 2000 years ago, God came to earth in the form of a baby.  He grew up, He preached, taught, and healed, and then He died on a cross as a sacrifice for my sins.

In the day to day, I forget sometimes how amazing that is, that God Himself was willing to pay the sacrifice for my sins.

Thank you, Lord Jesus.

Rose is a person, not a project

 Ok, I know that is totally OBVIOUS.  Rose is indeed a person, not a project!

But...

I really love finishing projects.  I get a dopamine hit from finishing up some big task.

Since Rose is the youngest Kendig child, I have seen the "end of an era" in a number of areas.  Last time we used diapers.  Last time we used pull-ups.  Last time we used sippy cups. There was one fine day many years ago when Kevin swept through the house like a tornado and took all the sippy cups and threw them away because he was SICK of them. Rose was not pleased but she adjusted to normal cups.

So anyway, Rose is learning to read.  I have 8 kids who are fluent readers now and one lone holdout.

My darling youngest is 7 and a half years old. She is making good progress with reading but she still isn't fluent. We are working on it and she is making progress but she isn't a good reader yet.

I have an internal struggle between realizing she is going to get it in time, and just wanting it done. This week, I realized part of my anxiety is that when she is fluent, I will be DONE teaching reading!

So I just want it done. But Rose is a person, not a project. She is smart, funny, stubborn, and not too eager to learn to read.  

I need to take my time and keep toiling away and trust that in time, she will become a fluent reader.  Indeed, I know she will; I have a lot of experience teaching reading and am 99.9% sure there aren't any issues with dyslexia or vision issues. She just has to learn and would rather be running around outside or making up cute little games.

The pic at the top has Rose in handcuffs because she wanted handcuffs, and I have been bribing her to read.  So that is why she is in handcuffs.