Warm, but He Doesn't Match!

 

 

I had to chuckle when our eldest son emerged from upstairs in this outfit.  No,it DOES NOT MATCH!

 

I'm not a fashionista (as everyone who knows me can attest) but I do try to match the colors of my clothing to one another.

 

Our children rarely share my concerns about "matching".  They often wear clothing that clashes.

 

While I will point out when an outfit clashes, I very rarely make a kid change his or her clothing based on "matching".  We have enough rules in our home that I figure I can give the kids the freedom to wear clothes that don't match.

 

I will admit that when we are heading out to church, I want the kids to look fairly decent so will request a change of clothing if necessary.

 

Isaac did eventually go back upstairs and change his pants into ones with the same fabric as his shirt.  He was so bright that it was hard to look at him straight, but he did match!

Winter Dawn

Chess (and other Games)

 

I don't like playing chess.   Don't get me wrong, it's a great game. I know it is challenging and interesting and makes the brain cells do happy little dances. For some people.  Not me.

 

My father was, at one time, an excellent chess players. He was in chess clubs and came close to being a member of the chess club of the University of Michigan (which wasn't an easy thing to do in his day.) 

 

We have chess programs online and several of our children enjoy playing.  In the last few days, we've started having head to head tournaments between the children.  It isn't easy because of the age differences...not surprisingly, the older kids tend to do better.  Mostly, they are enjoying themselves and the losers aren't getting too bent out of shape.

 

I love this picture because it shows Lydia and Isaac playing chess, while Miriam and Angela play a card game with each other.  Playing games together is fun.  I like it when the kids play games, and should work harder to encourage it.

Kids Around the Table

 

I thought you all might enjoy a picture of the kids around the table.  We got this table back when we were married, so you can well imagine that the two of us had plenty of space to stretch out.  There are TWO extra leaves now permanently inserted. I am not sure if there will be space for Sarah and Daniel when they are big enough to sit at the table.  We'll figure it out :-).

Our Sweet Angela and...Birth Order

Our 6th child, Angela, is 5 years old.

This is going to sound like a non sequiter, but bear with me... I've enjoyed Kevin Leman's books on birth order for a long time. Leman has written several books about how the birth order in a family affects the personality and behavior of the children IN the family. That may sound like psychobabble, but I totally buy into it. The idea isn't that a baby in the womb automatically "knows" her birth order and that affects personality. It is all about the "environment" part of personality.

  Leman's contention is that parents tend to treat their children differently based on birth order. For example, first borns are often high achievers, focused, and perfectionistic. This is because the parents spent a lot of time with the first baby, and they are also more focused on discipline with the eldest child. (There is a lot more to Leman's ideas, but that's a quick summary.)

The baby of a family, Leman claims, often gets LESS discipline. The baby also tends to be more of a "clown" because he or she is trying to get attention. After all, the bigger kids have already successfully completed potty training and reading and early math. What's a baby to do but be a spirited extrovert to get attention?

Leman also contends that there can be more than one "firstborn" in a family, which sounds counterintuitive. But, for example, parents will often treat the firstborn son like a firstborn even if he has an older sister or 2. Of course, there are ALWAYS exceptions. But I've found, in looking around, that many people I know fit into Leman's birth order ideas. I, for example, am a firstborn and am a classic high achiever, who longs for control and order.

Kevin also acts like a firstborn, and while he has an older sister, he is the firstborn son. He also grew up in a family where he had to take on some unusual responsibilities at a young age.

Angela is interesting to me from a birth order perspective. She was born right after our first miscarriage, and was followed by 3 more miscarriages. At one point, Kevin and I were quite sure she would be the youngest in the family. Then, of course, we had 2 more living blessings from the Lord. Angela is 3+ years older than Sarah, whereas all the other births are about 18 months apart from the next child.

I've been thinking about how I treat Angela and...I expect a lot from her. Since she is much older than Sarah, I expect her to act more like Miriam than perhaps is fair. She is only 5 and a half, and Miriam just turned 7. When Angela forgets to complete a task, I tend to assume it is deliberate. I think if she WAS the youngest in the family, I'd cut her more slack. So it is helpful for me to think through all this and adjust my expectations accordingly. Angela is a very sweet girl but yes, occasionally scatterbrained about doing things. I need to remember she is still VERY young. It is reasonable for her to struggle with being organized. It is right to give her grace while also training her to do necessary chores.

  I'm also reminded that I need to expect appropriate things from the true babies of the family. Daniel is, of course, way too little to help with anything. He isn't crawling yet. But Sarah is 2 and CAN pick up toys and do little chores, but I've not started doing that much with her. I need to. I guess my goal is to not push my "firstborns" TOO much, and not be lazy about training and disciplining the young ones.

May God give me wisdom, grace, perserverance, and strength.

Visitors

Our neighbor's guineas visited us this week for the first time in a couple of months. We only saw 2 birds, though. There used to be 4. I don't know if the other 2 were on walkabout somewhere else, or if those 2 are dead or gone. They are so cute in an ugly sort of way :-).

Keep Forgetting my Camera...

at our monthly PEACH Skate. Our homeschooling group organizes a monthly skating time at a local skating rink. We've gone the last 2 months, and did so today. Again, it was great fun. Our older 6 all can locomote with skates on, though Miriam and Angela move slowly. Toddler Sarah likes taking off shoes and socks and running around on the skating rink. Amazingly, all those big kids watch carefully and no one has run her over. I didn't know any of the families skating today, but struck up a conversation with a fellow mom and had a lovely time chatting. I came home worn out and with a pretty bad headache. Kevin took the day off from work as he was feeling super tired, and I feel pretty tired too. I HOPE we don't have another illness. I think maybe it is just straight forward fatigue on my part, anyway. Daniel was waking up every night at 4 a.m. for almost a week. I think he was still catching up with food after being sick with something intestinal. Anyway, last night he slept through from 10:30 p.m. to 6:45 a.m. Hooray! I am very thankful that our homeschooling group arranges activities like skating. I rarely participate as going anywhere with 8 kids tends to wear me out. But this monthly skating event IS a blessing. Perhaps as the children get older, we'll be able to participate more in field trips and the like.