Saturday, December 10, 2011

More Baby, Less Blog

That's the title of a previous post, many months ago. I was referring to Sarah then, but this time I'm referring to the baby I've been carrying.

Yes, it's been a moderetely hard pregnancy so far.  I am almost over the nausea portion, however, and am SO thankful.  I expect to have a surge of energy too.  Usually, my 2nd trimesters are quite delightful. Unfortunately, my 3rd trimesters are rather difficult as I've had preterm labor issues with the last 6 babies.

One of my life verses is:

2 Corinthians 12:9
New International Version (NIV)
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

  I am not someone who likes being weak.  I like working hard, I like serving others, I like feeling strong!

 When I was much younger, I would sometimes push myself physically but not resting or eating enough.  I had a subconscious belief that my physical abilities rested on my mental determination.  If I wanted something enough to work hard, I could do it.

  With my second pregnancy, I was pushing myself too hard.  At 30 weeks, I started having regular contractions 3 minutes apart.  Kevin rushed me to the hospital and I spent the night on drugs.  By God's grace, the contractions stopped and I went full term with Lydia.

   Every full term pregnancy since then I have had preterm contractions. We've never had to rush to the hospital, though we've come close.  I have had episodes of frequent contractions but lying down has caused them to stop.

  But I have to take it easily.  And I have to budget my time and energy.  I have to rest enough, and get enough sleep (inasmuch as that is possible with a baby jumping on my bladder at night!)

  Many things have to go by the wayside.  The first trimester of this pregnancy, I had to drop some aspects of school and I couldn't blog as much.  Our breakfasts got more boring, as I didn't have the energy to make muffins and eggs for breakfast most mornings.

  The last trimester, I'll probably have to spend more time on the couch. I won't be able to chase the kids around outside.  I'll be able to do less housework.

 All this is humbling and discouraging.  I have ideals of what I want to do, and be, as wife and mother.  And I feel like I'm falling down on the job sometimes.

  But God brought us this baby. And he wants me humble.  I know that this baby is a blessing in many ways, but ONE way he or she blesses me is by helping me see I need other people.  I need God, I need my husband, I need my kids, and I need my friends.  I never have been able to "do it on my own", but pregnancy helps me to grasp that truth in a very real way.

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