Let's Get Real...

I read an email by a mom who said that she found homeschooling blogs to be distressing and emotionally nervewracking, because it seemed to her that all those "other moms" had it all together whereas her own homeschooling doesn't always flow smoothly.

I think when I blog, I usually present the sunny side of our lives.  Also, I am not writing long blogs as often as life is very busy right now.

So, let me get real. First of all, in many ways things ARE going well. Kevin and I are blessed by our marriage and our children. We have a roof over our heads, a furnace to warm us, and food on the table.  We have Bibles to read, and can worship God openly.  I am very thankful for many things.

But I will say this, life is not always EASY.  Right now, we are going through kind of a rough patch with several children. This is nothing new, really.  Our children go through phases when they are harder or easier.  There is no "one child" that is the problem child, thankfully!  They are all children, all learning about life and in need of the Holy Spirit's power.

But right now, the younger 4 all seem like a special challenge.

Sarah, age 1, is into everything. She is very cute, but we have to watch her carefully. She's also testing the boundaries.  She knows, for example, that we don't like her throwing food off her high chair.  And she does it anyway.  She also likes yanking books off the bookshelves, yanking my hair, playing in the toilet (thankfully everyone is good about flushing around here), and so on.

Angela, age 4, has reached a painful stage where she is realizing that the world and universe do not revolve around her.  Now really, she should have figured that out a LONG time ago. One advantage of being a child in a large family is that there are only so much time and attention and resources to go around, and everyone is disappointed sometimes. But, poor dear Angela is at a particular PHASE in her understanding.  One semi humorous manifestation is that she keeps wanting toys that the other kids have.  Our rule about toys is this...if it is in a public area (like the living room, kitchen, dining room, etc.) it is fair game unless it is breakable, in which case it shouldn't be in those rooms.  So just because something was a present to YOU doesn't mean you get to play with it any old time. If you abandoned it in a toy box, and a sibling finds it, he or she can play with it for a while and then has to share.  Angela is just having a hard time with the concept of waiting. We keep having the following occurrence. 

Sibling gets toy. Angela sees toy.  Angela says, "I want that toy!"  I explain (for the hundredth time) that she can't have the toy right now. She repeats again, "I want that toy!"  We go around the mulberry bush about the toy until she either is sent to her room or loses a ticket (part of our discipline system.)  Really, does she think that whining and fussing will change reality, will change my mind?  Maybe she does. If so, she is disappointed time after time.

Miriam, age 6, is really at a sweet age except I'm realizing how sensitive she is.  I keep being startled by her dissolving into tears by what seems like a fairly minor issue.  Part of it may be tied into allergy issues, I don't know.  I know when I'm feeling allergic, I'm more sensitive than usual.

Joseph, age 7, is doing a lot of screaming these days.  He gets frustrated easily and lets us know about it. I think it is hard for him to be the younger brother and therefore not as quick and strong as Isaac.  I will say this, that boy is fast and Joseph has actually outrun Isaac on at least one occasion. 

 The older 3 are mostly doing fairly well though I need to work with Lydia on organizational issues where homeschooling is concerned.  Isaac is still struggling with his handwriting a great deal, and his spelling is atrocious.  Naomi, just to make things a little exciting, got violently ill last night with stomach flu and threw up 14 times, poor dear!

I will say that parenting is one of the hardest things I have ever done in my LIFE.  It is also one of the best things I've ever done. It takes every ounce of self control and wisdom that the Lord gives me to be a diligent and available mother.

I think in this world that there can be significant temptation for a mother to "check out" on her children.  I have a million things to do in keeping the house clean and organized, in cooking, in preparing for homeschooling, in caring for the baby.  There are times when I succumb to the temptation of Facebook when I ought to be talking to my kids.  I need to remember that more than academic excellence, our children need to feel safe and HEARD by their father and me.  They need to know they can talk to us about their questions and problems and struggles.  Now, I am not available 24/7 for deep emotional discussions. I think they are learning that I am pretty much a mess past 10 p.m. and for now, the kids are in their bedrooms at that time.  But I do try to be available to talk about God, the universe, human procreation (at an age appropriate level), bullying, etc.  And it isn't easy.

But then, most things worth doing aren't easy.  Marriage isn't easy.  Seeking and growing as a Christian isn't easy.  And yes, parenting isn't easy.