Last Time...

I think I nursed Daniel for the last time this morning.

I mentioned a week or 2 ago that breastfeeding has been a challenge with the last 4 kids.  I kept running low on milk at about the 6 month mark.

Given that I am almost 43 and that Daniel and Sarah are close together in age, I guessed I might have even more trouble with Daniel -- and I did.

I've been decreasing the number of nursing sessions which yes, is a sure fire way to lower milk supply.  Thing was, certain sessions I had almost no milk and that was frustrating for the baby AND me. 

 At least I've had a LOT of milk when I get up in the morning.  Except this morning I had almost nothing. He sucked and sucked and barely swallowed.

So I think I'm done.

It does make me sad.  Breastfeeding is a precious thing and to stop before Daniel is 5 months old is difficult. I feel guilty because I feel like I should have done more to be able to nurse him longer.  I've had that feeling of guilt with all the children where milk supply has been an issue.

I can pinpoint some things...not eating enough, probably, because diabetes limits what I CAN eat and I'm super busy during the day with the kids.

I think I drank enough fluids.  I even drank Mother's Milk Tea, which is supposed to help.

I stopped taking regular naps about a month ago. Again, I feel like I have too much to do to have a nap each day.

So it is a perfect storm of reasons, but the end result is that I can't nurse Daniel longer.

I am thankful for safe alternatives though of course they aren't as good as breastmilk.

It is hard to accept personal weakness where something like baby care is concerned.  But the Lord knows that life is a balancing act and I know He understands I don't have perfect wisdom in knowing how to spend my time. I pray OFTEN for wisdom and I tried my best, but ... this is the situation we are in.

I am thankful that so far, he is doing well with cow's milk formula.  Seeral children in our family had milk allergy, but so far there are no signs of Daniel having that problem.