Thinking about Death

Ok, that's a pretty heavy title, isn't it?

Yep, I'm thinking quite a bit about death this week...

Uncle Tom died last week.

Adalyn May died 2 weeks ago.

Who is Adalyn May?  She is the dear, sweet granddaughter of a friend of ours from church.  Adalyn had Trisomy 13, which is usually fatal either prenatally or within the first year of life.  Erin, Adalyn's mother, carried her for 37 weeks and delivered her stillborn. She was a very lively baby in the womb and Erin and Mark, her parents, grieved and mourned the diagnosis but delighted in every kick and thump while she lived.

Erin and Mark were visiting at church last week (they live out East) and many people prayed for them. I cried through the prayers, and cried pretty hard.  Her death has really bothered me, partly because I feel so sad for them and partly because it brings back memories of our four miscarriages.  All of our miscarriages were first trimester and I think not nearly as difficult as a full term stillbirth, but they were still very difficult.  The first one especially hit us like a ton of bricks. 

Something pretty bizarre happened just an hour ago.  I was reading blogs and ended up at the blog of a woman who lost her infant son a little more than a year ago.  It was pretty rough reading. This lady is struggling terribly.  She is grieving and mourning and full of despair.  It is an honest blog and I admire that, but it is hard to read.

Somewhere along the line, I realized this lady is not a Christian. She is culturally Jewish, but not Orthodox.  She discusses her religious beliefs at some length, and one of the facts of her life is that she has no confidence of life after death. She is dealing with a worldview where she has relatively little hope that she'll ever see her little boy again, and no confidence that her son is in any kind of good place.

It hit me like a ton of bricks that Kevin and I are so blessed, and Erin and Mark are so blessed, that we KNOW that we KNOW that we KNOW that our babies are in heaven.  I have zero doubt.  Our children who died are in Heaven.  Adalyn May is in Heaven.  Jesus' blood has saved them just like His blood saved us. 

What a RELIEF that is.  I hadn't thought recently about how hard it is for a parent who loses a baby to not have hope that they will be reunited at some time. I have that hope.

Now some people might think that this hope is just "wishful thinking."  There is plenty of wishful thinking out there, certainly.  While this lady doesn't have any hope of life after death, there are plenty of people who seem to think that all "good" people are guaranteed Heaven when I don't believe that is true either. (Whose definition of "good' are we using?)

Actually, some people even believe that anyone who is "sincere in their beliefs" will be accepted by God, as is.  To my mind, and I'm not trying to be mean, that is pretty wishy washy thinking.  After all, the hijackers of 9/11 were extremely sincere in their beliefs (to the point of death) but I don't believe I'll meet them in heaven.

I am a moderately intellectual person and during seasons of my life, I've read apologetics works and wrestled with a great many difficult questions. I don't have all the answers to those really challenging questions of life.  But I have studied the science and the historical veracity of the Bible enough to be confident in Christianity. And on a personal note, I've LIVED my Christianity.  I'm a sinner and I've missed the mark (the technical definition of "sin", by the way) a million times.  God has met me.  God has comforted me and communicated with me and loved me through the good times and the bad.  He has brought me into situations that blew my mind and broke my heart, but He has never left me. 

And I'm so thankful for that.

Today, I praise God for Heaven and Jesus' blood that cleanses us.  Praise you, Jesus!