I said in my last post that I had dropped dairy because Sarah is allergic to cow's milk. I will probably be going back on dairy shortly, as I think she's about done with breastfeeding.
I definitely have some peculiar emotions about that. I am not someone who absolutely loves breastfeeding. It is a very special time and obviously wonderful nourishment for the baby, MUCH better than formula. With our first child, I had a hard time breastfeeding but I remember being very determined. It took 2 weeks for us to really get the hang of it. If I had been less determined, she might well have ended up on formula.
But it is also a struggle for me, especially past the 6 month mark. As I've gotten older and busier, I have had milk supply problems starting as early as 6 months. Miriam, our 5th child, went on formula at 6 months because my milk supply disappeared.
With Sarah, I've had concerns about my milk supply. But I thought I was doing OK. Then a week ago, she went in for her 9 month well child checkup and her weight gain was not adequate. She had dropped from the 40th percentile in weight to the 5th percentile in weight! Starting that night, I began supplementing with formula after every feeding. And the poor girl was drinking the formula eagerly. She obviously had not been getting enough food. I feel so badly about that, but the truth is she was "starving happily". She has been outwardly content and sleeping through the night. I really had no idea!
I was able to get a weight check on Sarah yesterday as another child had a well child checkup. She was up 5 oz in a week, which makes me very happy.
As this week has gone by, I can tell my milk supply is continuing to drop and I think the end is not far off. Sarah is probably our last child, so it is a strange and somewhat sad thought to think that I'm coming to the end of nursing forever. But, I don't know for sure. And all good things come to an end eventually.
I've always had a fairly pragmatic approach to breastfeeding. Yes, it is wonderful. But there are times when it doesn't work out from the beginning, and times when it becomes a struggle after many months. I have a friend with 12 children, and she has had supply issues starting with the 6th child. She nursed and supplemented with formula for the last 6 children. She said she was happy that she has access to a safe alternative to breastmilk.
Now don't get me wrong, I think that moms should try to breastfeed if they can, and that it should be a priority. But I don't think it is the primary priority of life.
Life is a balancing act. I'm guessing that if Sarah was the only child to care for, I could make breastfeeding work longer. I could eat more, and I could spend more time at it. But we've been blessed with many children, and we've been called to homeschool. I am a very very busy wife and mama and that probably affects my milk supply. My husband and other children obviously need my attention and focus as well.
My goal in the next week is to introduce more solids into Sarah's diet, and to look into goat's milk as a partial liquid supplement to Sarah's diet. She's in soy formula now, which isn't the greatest thing in the world. I'm praying for wisdom and direction in helping Sarah grow strong and healthy now that nursing is ending.
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