Priorities

Well, let me start out by saying that Sunday was a first -- the first time our entire family went somewhere together since Daniel was born!

We have a 15 passenger van and I am thankful for all that space.  We now have 3 kids in the first seat (including the 2 little ones), 3 in the next seat, and our big girls in our back seat.  There is another seat that is out of the van so we have plenty of cargo space.  It was wonderful looking back at our brood!  We're so proud of them.

We went to church together on Sunday.  The speaker is a pastor who works in FL for a church reaching out to the lost -- many of whom are facing serious challenges.

I didn't get to listen to the whole sermon because Daniel got fussy. There were several valuable themes to the sermon but the big one for Kevin and me was the speaker's focus on FAMILY commitment.

The speaker said that many men tend to put their "work" above their family.  He said he used to put in 90 hour weeks as a pastor in his church. The needs were so great and he felt good about himself when he put very long hours into "reaching the lost". But he was completely neglecting his wife and children.  The speaker said that is quite normal, even in Christian circles.  Maybe especially in Christian circles?  Fortunately for him, he was able to listen to his wife when she showed that he had a problem, and he has friends who keep him accountable to spend time with his family so he now lives a more balanced life.

 The speaker also recounted the sad true story of a founder of a major world relief organization who told God, "I'll take care of the little lambs overseas if you take care of the my little lambs at home."  He didn't see his children much at all as he was overseas 10 months a year.  The results were devastating.  His wife separated from him for a season, one child tried to commit suice, and another succeeded in commiting suicide.  No, that bargain with God was a false one.  It was HIS job to minister to his family, not someone else's.

Kevin and I talk about priorities all the time.  We live in a world with such an array of options.  200 years ago, even 100 years ago, women had relatively few options in terms of employment opportunities.  That has changed dramatically. I have a PhD in engineering and could be working long hours and making a lot of money.  In fact, for many years before my marriage I had every intention of being a single career woman.  One of God's gifts to me is a gift of giving. I really do like giving money to the Lord's work and I THINK I probably would have given much of my salary away if I had indeed stayed single. I don't know for sure and maybe I would have succumbed to materialism, but I hope not.

Anyway, life obviously took a sharp turn when I got married (after 6 months of courtship) to Kevin.  The story of how we opened our lives to a large family is for another day, but suffice it to say that we do indeed have a large family!  I had my first child 2 months after I turned 30, and our 8th child at age 42.

So, no full time job outside the home!  I need to be home with my kids most of the time and indeed child care would wipe out a lot of my salary anyway.  So that means I am "giving" relatively little to the Lord's work in terms of money compared to what "might have been." But obviously our marriage has resulted in 8 children whom we hope will grow up to serve the Lord with all their hearts, souls, and minds.

We also felt God's leading to homeschool, which means most of my time is completely filled with caring for children and home, and teaching.  We also need  to devote time to our marriage so that it stays strong in the midst of very busy lives.

This post is getting long so I'll close it out.  Every Christian needs to obey the Lord as much as he or she can.  What that looks like will vary to some degree.  Not everyone is called to marry, not everyone is called to a large family, not everyone is called to homeschool.  But we do need to pray for wisdom and seek to avoid following our culture if God calls us to something different.  I was very encouraged by this pastor's sermon that sometimes the best thing we can do is to serve our family at home.