Weaning Rose

  I am in the process of weaning Rose.

  Not an entirely easy decision, but I've prayed and believe it is the right thing to do.

  She is 8+ months old.  That isn't very old to stop nursing, but I only nursed Daniel 3 months so I am actually VERY proud of nursing her this long.

  I've talked about my breastfeeding issues before on this blog.  I've had milk supply issues with the last 6 kids.  Starting with Joseph, I didn't seem to have enough milk at some point, though I was fine at birth.  Joseph nursed 7 or 8 months, I believe, Miriam 6 months, Angela 10 months, Sarah 9 months, Daniel only 3 months, and Rose will probably nurse for the last time this week at 8+ months.

 With Rose, I've worked very hard at maintaining milk supply.  I have drank and drank and drank water and herbal tea. I've eaten early and often. I've added steel cut oats to my diet (even though they are a bit hard on blood sugar levels.)

  In the last couple of weeks, I've noticed how little milk I seem to have.  Rose has started biting me with her 2 sharp teeth, I think partly out of frustration.  I have been supplementing with formula (now that Rose will drink out of a sippy cup -- she hasn't taken bottles for several months) and last night, after I nursed her, she sucked down 3 oz of formula.

  She also is not gaining weight well.  I don't have an infant scale but we have a good digital scale and I've been weighing myself, then myself with her, and done the advanced math.  She is measuring about 15 lbs, which isn't very much for her age.  She is definitely falling on the weight chart.  Sarah went through a season between 6 and 9 months where she was NOT getting enough food and I was horrified to discover at her 9 month well child checkup that she had only gained a pound in 3 months.  With Sarah, I started supplementing with formula and she made it clear by her eager acceptance of it that she was HUNGRY.  I felt so badly.

  One of the challenges of our kids is that they don't act like NORMAL babies.  A normal baby, when hungry, would probably start waking up at night crying for food. Right?  Not my kids. They are all enthusiastic sleepers and Rose is sleeping 10+ hours a night.  She is also a mostly happy baby and smiles much of the time, like in that adorable pic at the top of this post.   She isn't acting hungry and she still has regular wet diapers, but she looks thin to me.

  I have thought so much about the issue of breastfeeding.  In centuries past, a mom who couldn't nurse her baby would often lose her baby.  It was hard to provide good alternatives without refrigeration and modern processing methods.  Some rich moms would even hire someone to wet nurse her baby if she could not or chose not to breastfeed.

  We are blessed to live in a time and place where "good" formula is available.  And by good I mean, the child can live and thrive on it.  It is safe.

 Having said that, I know that breastmilk is much better than formula for a variety of reasons. One biggie is that Mom is passing on her antibodies to baby through the milk. Rose has been remarkably healthy this winter in spite of much family illness, and I am guessing she has benefited by ME getting sick first.

 So I admit there is some guilt here about weaning Rose. Part of me thinks I should be able to make this work, I should be able to maintain milk supply for a few more months. Realistically, perhaps I could have done something different but then would have had to neglect other important priorities.  I AM an old mom, I DO have 8 older kids who need care, and we really like that the baby is sleeping through the night (so we're not keen on her waking every 3 hours to nurse at this age.)

  So, good-bye mommy guilt.  I am thankful for Rose, and thankful for 8 months of nursing her.  On to a new era in our lives.